Amateur Hour

She was about two blocks from the store when she heard a short blast from a siren, and saw the red Jeep Cherokee in her rear view, flashing its lights and blue dashboard bubble. The driver, in civvies and a black ball cap with a Sheriff’s emblem on it, pointed a stern finger toward a parking lot, on her right.

Lisa pulled in, having no idea what she might have done wrong. She certainly hadn’t been speeding or driving erratically. Maybe she had a brake or signal light out.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise, to see Tucker Rawlings step out of the Cherokee. He strode to her window, and she rolled it down, playing the part of law abiding citizen.

“Hi, there,” she smiled up at him.

Tuck crossed his arms, and stared at her with a stony expression, until the smile faded from her face.

“I’ve got three questions for you, ma’am,” he said. “Did you buy anything good, was it worth what you paid for it, and have you tried Ken’s Diner, yet?”

“You are such a menace to the citizens of this town,” she grinned, and he laughed.

“Follow me,” he suggested, and went back to his car.

Ken’s Diner was one of the kinds of places Lisa had been on the lookout for. It was an older restaurant, unimpressive on the outside, comfortable on the inside, and it smelled of good food. It was obviously one of the places where the locals went to eat, opening early and staying open late. The bell above the door announced their entrance, and they seated themselves at a booth by the large plate glass window. Cups were already on the table, upside down in their saucers, and she barely had time to open her menu, before a pretty, uniformed waitress appeared to fill them, and set down two glasses of ice water.

“Good morning, Deputy Rawlings, Ma’am,” she smiled. “Should I give you a minute?”

“Yes, Joanie, thanks,” Tuck smiled back. “She does know how to tell time,” he said, when Joanie was out of earshot. “But, she also knows my hours. You can get breakfast here, all day, so it’s popular with cops and shift workers.”

“What’s good for lunch?”

“Just about everything. I like the grilled cheese, or the BLT best.”

When Joanie came back, Lisa ordered the grilled cheese and fries, with a chocolate shake, and Tuck asked for ham and eggs, with toast.

“You get that, at Mandy’s shop?” he nodded toward her necklace.

“Yes, I did.”

“Very pretty. Is that an opal, of some kind?”

“Moonstone. It’s supposed to enhance female energies, and creativity, or something like that. I just like owls, though.”

“It’s very nice.”

“You’re wearing something, too,” she observed, nodding toward the braided cord around his neck.

Tuck obligingly pulled on it, bringing the “charm” out of the neck of his western shirt. It was an arrowhead, knapped from a piece of pink flint.

“Is it the real deal?” she asked, admiring it.

“Yep. Found it, myself, out in my pasture, in a divot one of the horses kicked up. The horse is long gone, sad to say. But the arrowhead is a nice keepsake. One of Mandy’s friends turned it into a necklace.”

“Do you still keep horses?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve got four. They eat a lot, and they’re a pain in my ass, but I love them. You ride?”

“Not since I was a teenager.”

“Then, you’ll have to come over for a trail ride, and meet Nickie. I’ll put you on my gelding. He’s tall, but a baby could handle him. He doesn’t have any delusions of grandeur that include him being the boss.”

Before Lisa could say yea or nay, Joanie returned with two warmed plates of hot food.

“This looks so good!” Lisa told her.

“Our fries are the best in town, I think,” Joanie grinned.

“More coffee?” she offered, even as she was refilling Tuck’s cup, without asking.

“Yes, please.”

“Y’all enjoy, and let me know if you need anything else,” the waitress said, after refilling Lisa’s cup.

The fries were very good, and so was the sandwich. They both tucked in, and ate in silence, for a few moments.

“So, is there actually a Ken?” Lisa asked.

“There is, but he’s retired, now. Sometimes he pops in, for a bite to eat,” Tuck replied. “Spends most of his time hunting, fishing, and in his garden, these days. Then, there are the chickens, too. I get my eggs from him. Mind you, they’re country eggs, not as pretty as the ones you buy, in the store, but they’re every bit as good, and much cheaper. I’ll give you his number, if you’re interested.”

“Don’t they usually come in big flats?”

“Yeah, but Ken knows how to clean them, without removing the bloom. They keep for a long time.”

Lisa nodded, not really knowing what “bloom” was, with regard to eggs, but willing to take Tuck’s word for it.

“He’d sell to an outsider?”

“Oh, hell yeah. The man’s up to his ears in eggs. And, you’re not an outsider. You’ve been to the Silver Chalice. That makes you one of the local ladies,” he grinned. “All that remains is for you to join a club. Garden club, Library Society—that one should be right up your alley, Women’s Club, Ladies Bowling League, animal shelter volunteer… I could go on, all day. Maybe Mandy will let you join her coven.”

“That’s not nice!” Lisa laughed, wondering whether or not he was serious.

“Oh, they’re all right. Just a bunch of gals who like to get together, on a full moon, do their circle thing, and have a few beers afterward.”

“Is that allowed, in the Bible Belt?”

“Sure. Most of them are also solid members of the older local churches. You’d be surprised at what flies, around here. We’re very cosmopolitan.”

“You can’t possibly approve.”

“I don’t disapprove,” Tuck shrugged, sitting back to sip his coffee. “I worry more about drunk drivers, burglars, people who get liquored up and shoot each other, and to a lesser degree, vandals. I don’t have any beef with people who mind their own business, on their own property. As long as they aren’t breaking any laws or hurting anyone else, I really don’t care.”

“So, you’re not a moralist.”

“Morality is relative, to a degree. In the big picture, whatever is illegal is also immoral, when you get right down to it. What’s moral for me, might be frowned upon by the Amish, for example. What’s moral for other faiths might be frowned upon by me. But, if none of it is illegal…” he shrugged.

“I guess I see your point. Get as wasted as you want, just stay off the roads, and don’t shoot your brother.”

“Basically,” he nodded. “All I can do is prevent some things, clean some things up, and help out, in some cases. If I keep that clearly in mind, the job doesn’t eat me up.”

“You must like it, to have made such a career of it,” Lisa observed, then took a pull on her milkshake straw.

“I do. It’s a calling, and it can be very rewarding. I like order, and I believe rules are necessary. But I know, too, that rules can and should be bent, on occasion. Like when I pulled you over, earlier. Not strictly legal, though I could have given you a ticket for your right brake light. It’s not out, but it’s flickering, by the way. Loose wire, most likely.”

“And you’re only just now telling me?” Lisa scowled.

“It’s no big deal. The stop was legal, the failure to ticket you, is in a grey area. Asking you on a lunch date, was borderline inappropriate,” he smiled. “It would have been fine, if you had known that today is my day off, but as it is…”

“I could file a harassment complaint? Well, I won’t. The food is very good, and now I have a new restaurant to add to my list.”

“Kinda thought you’d see it that way. What are you doing, for the rest of the day?”

“Well, I have to get home, and explain my absence to Gil. Then, I have to walk him. Beyond that, I don’t know. Read up on ghosts, I guess. I got three books at the store.”

“How would you feel about giving Gil a short walk, and loading him up to go for a drive? I could probably wheedle Kelly into coming along, as a chaperon,” he added, seeing her doubtful little frown. “If she’s not still at your place, she’s probably at her business office.”

“After last night, I think Gil might be enough of a chaperon,” Lisa chuckled. She went on to explain all that had taken place.

“I don’t like the sound of any of that,” Tuck remarked, when her recitation was done.

“It was unsettling. But, again—nothing actually happened to me. Except for bruised knees, and a deeper bond with my dog, of course. I was beginning to think he wasn’t good for much.”

“No, you weren’t. I could tell right away that you’re already nuts about him. Let’s go get him.”

Gil was pleased to see Tuck, especially when he produced a treat for him, out of the glove-box of the Jeep. “Nickie won’t mind,” he said.

“I do have a seat belt for him, but he’s a Houdini.”

“It’s fine. Nickie rides right up front, with me, most of the time. Load up, buddy,” Tuck said, opening the passenger side back door. He didn’t have to issue the invitation, twice. Gilligan hopped nimbly into the back seat, and proceeded to give it a good sniffing, while he waited for the humans to climb into the front.

Lisa found it refreshing to be a passenger, for a change. It gave her the opportunity to really look around, at the scenery. It wasn’t much, heading out of town. There were a few homes, a field or two, and some patches of wooded areas. Still, it was relaxing.

Tuck’s place was about nine miles from hers, down a rather long graveled drive, off the main road. The house itself was a two story wooden farmhouse, with a wraparound porch. There were three rockers, and a table with four ladder back chairs, in front. On the railing were several potted Christmas cactus, just starting to bloom. She could see a barn, not too far away, across the pasture. Sure enough, there were four horses grazing, out there. Two were sorrels, one was blood bay with a black mane and tail, and the fourth was an Appaloosa, with brown spots.

“They’re beautiful,” Lisa remarked, nodding toward the horses.

“Thanks. I like ’em. The blood bay is the gelding I was talking about. He’s tall, for a quarter horse, but very sweet. And, there’s Toni and Nickie,” he added as the front door opened, revealing a brown and white border collie, and a young woman with long blonde hair and long legs.

Toni trotted easily down the steps, behind Nickie, who stopped short of jumping on the driver’s side door, but stood wagging her tail, frantically. Tuck opened his door, and stepped out, to hug the girl. Lisa got out, a bit more slowly.

“Is this Lisa?” Toni asked, smiling.

“It is, and Gilligan, too. Lisa, this is my daughter, Toni.”

Lisa came around the front of the car, and shook the hand Toni offered, with a smile of her own. “Good to meet you,” she said.

“Good to meet you, too,” Toni said.

“It’s okay to let him out,” Tuck assured Lisa, even as Nickie gave her a perfunctory sniff, and allowed Lisa to pet her. “She’s a nut, but she’s not aggressive. I don’t think he is, either.”

Tuck was right. After observing all of the rituals of two dogs meeting for the first time, the two were fine. Nickie took off, and Gil loped after her.

“He’ll be okay,” Toni said, seeing the slight look of worry on Lisa’s face. “Nickie never leaves the yard. She’ll show him every squirrel on the place, I imagine. As dogs go, she’s a pretty good hostess.”

Tuck motioned for Lisa to follow Toni up the steps, while he brought up the rear. The house was warm, quickly dispelling the goosebumps that had been raised on Lisa’s arms by the nip in the outside air, and her first impression was that it was charming.

Family pictures hung on the walls, and were scattered in frames, around the front room. The furniture was well worn, and comfortable looking, hinting that people used the room constantly, and that there was never a shortage of visitors and family. There was a fireplace, prepared, but not yet lighted, on one wall, with a few cowboy figurines on the mantel, Remington reproductions, unless Lisa missed her guess, with an ormolu clock, in the center.

The stairs were located on the left, and other rooms to the right, but Toni led the party straight into the eat in kitchen. It had been remodeled from its original state, Lisa supposed. Most farmhouses didn’t include a butcher block island, with a rack of pots and pans hanging above it.

“Gotta give the chili a stir,” Toni said, while Tuck invited his guest to have a seat at the table, with a gesture. Though she had just eaten, the fragrance from the pot, when Toni lifted the lid made Lisa’s mouth water. “We like to slow simmer it,” Toni explained, as she stirred with a large wooden spoon.

“What’ll you have to drink, Lisa?” Tuck asked. “There’s always coffee, and plenty of iced tea, if you prefer something cold.”

“Tea would be great,” Lisa said.

“Where’s Will?” Tuck asked his daughter, as he poured out three glasses.

“He made a feed store run. Should be back, any time. Will’s my husband,” she explained to Lisa. “We were low on hay,” she continued to her father, “and feed for the goats.”

“Lord, don’t let us run out of feed for the goats!” Tuck cried, with feigned horror. “No telling what they’d decide to eat, in protest.”

“Dad’s not crazy about my goats,” Toni grinned, as she joined them, at the table. “Despite the fact that their manure makes some of the best fertilizer.”

“They eat their pens. Then, they get out and eat the garden. When they run out of garden, they gnaw anything and everything else.”

“One goat. One goat, one time. The goat is long dead, but I’ll never be allowed to live it down.”

“Do you make goat’s milk cheese, or something?” Lisa asked, sipping her tea. It was very good—strong and sweet.

“Cheese, fudge, soap; I sell them every week at the farmers market. Remind me to give you some soap, before you leave. It’s my best seller, and it’s great for all types of skin. Just look at the baby soft face on this guy,” she reached over to playfully pinch Tuck’s cheek.

“Cut that out!” Tuck scowled, laughing with his eyes. “Toni makes a shaving soap, too. I use it, because it lathers well,” he said, drawing close the rags of his dignity.

Conversation paused, at the sound of footsteps on the back porch. Someone wiped their feet, than the kitchen door opened to a husky young man, with a shock of red hair that instantly reminded Lisa of her brother.

“Hey, hon,” Toni said, turning up her face, for a kiss.

“Lisa, this is Will, my son-in-law. Will, Lisa is the lady I told you about, who’s turning the old church into a book store.”

“It’s a pleasure, ma’am,” Will smiled shyly.

“The pleasure is mine. You remind me of my brother, when he was your age.”

Will laughed, at this, and shook the hand she offered him.

“That can only mean one thing. The poor guy is also a redhead.”

“He is,” Lisa acknowledged, with a grin.

“I hope you fed those damned goats,” Tuck remarked.

“I fed the damned goats, Pa, but the damned horses still need to be fed,” Will mimicked his father-in-law, flopping into a chair.

“Mmm… Guess I’d better go feed the damned things, before it gets dark, then,” Tuck retorted. “Lisa, you can come with, if you want, but if it’s too chilly for you–”

“My jacket’s in your car. I’m going to need it later, anyway.”

“We’ll grab it, on our way to the barn.”

Lisa tried not to rub her arms against the breeze that had come up, while they were inside, and she was grateful to zip herself into her jacket. It wasn’t a long walk to the barn, but she was fairly warmed up, by the time they reached it. She was amused to see that the horses knew what was up, and started sauntering in their direction, at the sight of them. The stall doors had been left open, and each one was waiting in his, by the time Tuck opened the tack room, where the feed was kept.

The scent of hay and sweet feed was pleasant, and she watched as Tuck scooped varying mixtures of grain into four buckets. He picked up two of them, and Lisa took two, as well.

“You have the first two,” he said. “That will be Buckshot, the Appaloosa in the first stall, and Tango the big guy in the second. Just dump it right into the feeders. Buckshot might nip at your sleeve, but she doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s just a quirk she has. At the far end, one of the sorrels whinnied. “I’m coming, Polly, Keep your shirt on.” He walked away, leaving Lisa to fend for herself.

Buckshot did nip at her sleeve, giving it a light tug, as Lisa filled her feeder. “Is that your way of saying hello?” Lisa asked. The mare snorted, blowing some grain out of the feeder, then fell to munching. Lisa patted her neck, and moved on to the next stall. Tango was a gentleman. He approached the door, but waited until the food was dumped, before making any serious move on the grain in his trough. He took a little into his mouth, then raised his head to regard her with intelligent looking eyes, nuzzled her jacket, when she patted his neck, then fell to eating again.

“Nice, isn’t he?” Tuck said, walking back toward her.

“He is. Which one do you usually ride?”

“Well, all of them, but I’m partial to Buckshot. She’s quick, and moves like a cow pony. She’d make a good barrel or roping horse. Now, Rocket, over there, is fast, on a straightaway. She’s a true quarter horse, in that respect. Polly is the best, on a rough trail. She’s as surefooted as one of Toni’s infernal goats. This guy, though, he’s patient and easygoing. He’s just the horse for novices and little kids. Let’s get them some hay.”

They returned to the tack room and put the buckets away. Tuck furnished her with two pats of hay and took two more, himself. Lisa watched him loosen one, for Buckshot, not completely breaking it, and followed suit for Tango and Rocket. Polly got hers last, but she didn’t mind, since they were all still occupied with grain.

“And, the water’s automatic, so we’re done,” Tuck said. “You cold?”

“Not freezing, but I am from farther south,” Lisa admitted.

“Let’s get back inside, then. No doubt, Toni will want to show off her goats, but it can wait for another day.”

“Do you really dislike the goats?” Lisa asked, as they made their way back toward the house.

“Nah. I just like to mess with Toni. She keeps them very clean, but goats are always going to be a little smelly. And that billy of hers bears watching. You don’t want to turn your back on him. When she has kids, they want to chew on your clothes, but they’re usually sold, once they’re weaned. Overall, they’re fine, and she enjoys them.” He smiled at her, and shrugged.

“She and Will seem like a nice young couple.”

“I wouldn’t take a million bucks, for either of them. I couldn’t keep all these horses and work the hours I do, if not for Will, you know. He’s a fine boy, and a credit to Toni’s good sense.”

“Have they always lived with you?”

“No. They used to live down your way, in fact. Both went to college in Gainesville. They came up, when my wife passed, for her funeral. Moved up here, shortly after that. For some reason, Toni seems to think that her father, the cop, can’t take care of himself,” he snorted a laugh. “I’m glad to have them, though.”

“Miss Lisa, you look chilled,” Will observed, when they were once again inside. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please,” Lisa accepted. “Has anyone seen anything of my dog?” she asked.

Tuck stepped back outside, and hollered for Nickie. Almost immediately, the sound of two dogs could be heard, on the porch, and they burst inside, when Tuck opened the door again. Nickie made the rounds of all the humans, but Gil went straight to Lisa, first. “Oh, now you want my attention,” she chided him. “You look like you had a good time, with your new friend.”

“Told you they’d get along with no problems,” Tuck said.

The chili was good—just spicy enough, without being so hot that she couldn’t taste any of the other ingredients, and after the dishes were cleared, they all sat down to a game of Hearts. Lisa lost, dismally, but Tuck didn’t win, either. Will was the victor.

It wasn’t late, when Tuck got Lisa home, but it was full dark.

“I forgot to turn on the outside light,” Lisa said, disgusted with herself.

“It’s okay, I have my flashlight, so you can see to get the key into the door.”

“I really had a great time, Tuck. Thanks.”

“We all enjoyed having you. I hope–” he broke it off, frowning toward the church. “What the hell?”

Lisa followed his gaze, and saw what he saw. Three separate, flickering lights inside the sanctuary, making their way toward the back of the building.

Tuck released his seat belt, and produced a nickel plated semi automatic weapon from nowhere. “Stay here,” he said grimly.

“You stay here, and let’s call some of your buddies,” Lisa objected.

“I’m just going to have a look. If you hear anything, call 911, and report shots fired, and your address. It’s probably just kids, scoping out a creepy venue for a Halloween party. I’m surprised it took this long, for it to happen.”

“You want Gil?”

“He’s safer, with you.”

Lisa dug hastily into her right jacket pocket and produced a key ring. She separated one out and held it up to him.

“This opens both doors,” she said.

“Thanks.”

With that, Tuck got out, closed the door most of the way, then pushed hard on it, until it latched. Lisa immediately locked the doors. He gave her a thumbs-up of approval, then set off toward the church. Lisa could see that the lights were still there. They clustered, separated a little, then clustered again. When she glanced away, Tuck was nowhere to be seen.

He reappeared in a few seconds, at the side door, dimly lit by the outside utility lights. He opened the door quietly, and slipped inside. Lisa didn’t know how much time passed between his entry into the church and the sudden vanishing of the three lights. It seemed like an eternity. Then, she could make out the glow of a single light, heading the opposite direction of the others, up the nave, toward the front door.

The light was brighter, on the church porch, and when Tuck stepped into it, she was so relieved, she wanted to cry. Yet, something about his gait, as he came back to the car, the way his head was fixed on the ground and the slump of his shoulders excited her worry again.

When he reached her, his face was ashen, and his hand shook, as he fed the key into the lock, on her side. He opened her door, and she slid out.

“Are you all right?” she demanded.

His smile was lopsided, and a little sick. “Fine,” he managed, in a croaking voice. “No one’s in there, now.”

Warm air from the central heating unit wafted out the door, as Lisa opened it, but of course the house was dark. She’d neglected to leave a light burning inside, too, but the foyer leapt into view, when she flipped the switch by the door.

Tuck nudged her aside, and preceded her into the dwelling. He left her in the living room, without a word, and made his way first into the box stacked front bedroom, then down the hallway, opening and closing closet doors, peeping into the bathroom, and on into her bedroom, at the back. Lisa didn’t know what to make of this performance, so she put on the kettle for tea.

“All clear, Deputy?” she joked, turning from the cupboard with two cups, when he reappeared.

“Affirmative,” he smiled. This time the smile was more normal and genuine. He still looked shaken, but also like he was beginning to recover. “Anything I can do?”

“N–” Lisa began, then spotted the dog biscuits, nearby. “Well, you could stuff Gillie’s toy with some of these, and make him your lifelong pal, if you want. Just shake the box.”

Tuck complied, and Gilligan did his part, producing the odd, cone shaped chew toy, for him to fill. Parking himself on the sofa, Tuck proceeded to pack it full of the small biscuits that were designed for little dogs, or bigger dog’s toys. Gil supervised the operation with rapt attention, and happily accepted the rattling toy from Tuck.

“How do you take your tea, Tuck?”

“Dark and sweet, when I drink it hot, at all. Right now, it sounds good,” he added, seeing her doubtful expression.

“I can get you something else, if–”

“No, the tea is perfect. I’m still a little bit chilled.”

“They have that effect on me, too,” Lisa ventured, sinking down, beside him.

“I feel like that kid, in the Sixth Sense, right now. The cold, coming off them!”

Lisa reached for the throw, folded on the back of the couch, behind them. “Here,” she said. “Until your temperature balances out.”

Tuck hesitated, and she could see the battle taking place between his pride and his chill. He took it from her, at last, and draped it loosely around his shoulders.

“For the record,” he said, after a few swallows of his tea, “I never thought you were crazy, or lying. I just never expected to see anything like that, for myself. The way they looked at me–”

“Wait—what? They actually looked at you?”

“With considerable malice. As if I were personally thwarting them. I guess I was, at that.”

“They never spared me so much as a glance.”

“Be glad they didn’t. I swear the two behind the Sergeant were going for their rifles, just before they poofed out of existence.”

They drank in silence, for a while, as Lisa chewed on this.

“Maybe the difference is that I stumbled on them; or, they stumbled on me. You, on the other hand, were going into the situation, with a purpose. Could they have sensed intent, on your part?” she wondered aloud.

“Damned if I know, but I do know this– I’m going to finish this tea, and I’m leaving. And you’re coming with me.”

“No, I’m not. I’m not going to be run out of my own house by what amounts to noisy vapor.”

“You’re brave. I get that. But I think your noisy vapor is becoming toxic. Pack a bag, Lisa.”

“And, you’re used to being obeyed. I get that. But–”

“Seriously? Are you really going to dig your heels in, with an excuse like that—making it a control issue? Just what the hell happened to you, in your past life?” he demanded, with narrowed eyes. “Look–” he continued, reining in his irritation, “I can’t just leave you here, with all of this. It wouldn’t be right, or decent. I have a very nice guest room, with a comfortable bed. You can follow me back to the house, in your own car, and leave tomorrow whenever you want. Bring Gil, of course, and get a good night’s sleep, for a change, without waiting for random shotgun blasts, to rip you out of bed. I meant it, when I said you were brave. Just…don’t carry it to the point of being foolish.”

The ensuing shotgun blast from her bedroom couldn’t have been better timed, or worse, depending on one’s point of view. Lisa flinched, spilling hot tea on her lap. Tuck came to his feet, and his gun was in his hand, in the same motion. Gil dropped his toy, and streaked toward the hallway, bellowing at the top of his lungs. It all happened at once.

The dog suddenly struck the hallway wall, and yelped, as if he had been viciously kicked. Lisa started toward him, but Tuck pushed her aside, rather roughly. A blast of cold air swept through the living room, then the second gun blast sounded, right on cue, from the nearby front bedroom.

“Yeah, die again, you bastard!” Lisa growled at the manifestation, over her shoulder, as she ran to her dog. She was filled with rage. By the time she reached Gil, he was already on his feet and shaking off the blow. When she knelt, he bathed her face, with his tongue, but she could feel him shaking, as she wrapped her arms around him.

“You okay, big boy?” Tuck asked, at her elbow. Gil turned some of his kisses on the deputy, and wagged his tail. “Yeah,” Tuck laughed. “You’re a total badass, aren’t you?”

“I’ll pack,” Lisa said, swiping away some tears.

“Take your time. I’ll take Mr. Badass out, for a little walk, and then we can blow this pop stand.”

Lisa caught at his arm. “Be careful,” she said. “They’ve seen you, now. Gil, too.”

Tuck pulled her to her feet. “We won’t go far. Only far enough to make sure Gil doesn’t defile any graves. Concentrate on clothes and any medicines you might need. Anything else, we probably have at the house.”