Amateur Hour

“What are you going to tell Toni and Will?” Lisa asked, buckling her seat belt.

“I guess that’s up to you, in a way,” he responded, backing out of the drive. “I don’t want to broadcast your business, if you want to keep it to yourself. We can always say that your water pipes malfunctioned, or the power is out, or that your heating system is kaput. I don’t like to fib, and I think they can both be trusted to keep their mouths shut, but it’s your call.”

“Would they even believe the truth?”

Tuck laughed. “It’s Georgia, Lisa. My attic may be sadly lacking in spooks, but…”

“As far as you know,” Lisa retorted, beginning to regain some of her sense of humor, or trying to, at least.

“As far as I know,” he agreed, slanting her a smile.

“Well, let’s hope I’m not some kind of a lightning rod, for them.”

“I doubt that. Gil doesn’t react badly to you. He thinks you hung the moon, from the looks of it. Animals are supposedly very sensitive to the spirit world. At least that’s the gospel according to Mandy.”

“Poor Gillie,” she sighed.

“Now, don’t go there. Dogs will risk their lives for their people. I’ve seen it countless times, in K9 cops and their partners.”

“Maybe I should give him up. To keep him safe.”

“That would break his heart, and yours.” Tuck reached over to squeeze her hand. “No. The thing to do is get rid of the threat, not the dog. Don’t get all depressed, now. You’ll feel better, in the morning. I’ll have Toni take you out to see those ridiculous goats. That’ll cure you.”

“Do you think Kelly is safe, working on the rat situation, in the church?”

“Kelly?” he laughed. “I think she’s safe enough. She grew up with a pack of brothers, and she was always right in the thick of whatever they were doing. You’re steel, but she’s cast iron.”

Lisa thought about that. Cast iron—simple, unalloyed, impervious. It seemed apt. There were advantages to both steel and cast iron, but she thought she had an idea of what Tuck meant. Kelly might or might not see ghosts, but either way, she wouldn’t be impressed. Her lack of fear could be an advantage.

“So, does that make you brass?” she teased.

“Absolutely,” he chuckled. “Bold, loud, and in constant need of polishing. See, you’re starting to get me.”

Will and Toni were in the living room, both reading, when they walked in. The fire had been lit, and Lisa felt like a plague carrier, descending upon them.

“Hello again,” Toni greeted them. “What happened?”

“A ghost kicked my dog,” Lisa blurted. It had, after all, been the deciding factor in her leaving.

“Well, that was rude,” Will said. “Is he okay? You okay, boy?” he asked Gil directly, as the dog came to him. He ran his hands over him, watching for any pain reaction. There was none.

“I think so,” Lisa said. “I can handle nonsense, on my own account, but…”

“When it’s your dog, that’s just too much,” Toni filled in.

Tuck and Lisa sat down, and Gil went to lie down near Nickie, who roused herself just enough to brush his nose with her tongue, before settling back down. Tuck gave them the full story. Lisa didn’t have the energy.

She was drained, and the fire was warm. She felt herself nodding off—a circumstance she would have declared impossible, thirty minutes ago.

When she woke, the fire was lower, and Toni and Will were gone. Her head was on Tuck’s shoulder.

“Sorry,” she said, sitting up.

“No worries. You’re worn out. I’m just glad you woke up, before you had the chance to get a crick in your neck.”

“And, I’m just glad I didn’t drool on your sleeve.”

Tuck laughed softly. “Ready to go up?”

“My bag–”

“Will got it and took it up. You want to take Gil, with you?”

Lisa gazed over to where Gil was sacked out on the hearthrug, next to Nickie. “He looks awfully comfortable, where he is. I think we can leave him. Maybe I should put down a couple of bowls for him, though, to keep him out of Nickie’s.”

“Already done.”

“You people are more efficient than a bed and breakfast inn, aren’t you?”

“Hospitality to woman and beast,” he smiled. Tuck got up and tugged her to her feet. “Steady there, Grandma,” he said, when she staggered a step.

“I’ll ‘Grandma’ you!” she said, slapping lightly at his arm.

“Assaulting a peace officer. Remind me to arrest you, in the morning.”

He led the way up the stairs, pointing out the bathroom, at the top of the landing.

“That’s a good place for it—doesn’t give anyone an excuse to poke around near the bedrooms.”

“Just so,” Tuck nodded. “It was one of the reasons I liked the house. Patty liked the island, in the kitchen. The kids are in here, and you’re here, right next to me.”

He opened the door on a nice, homey room. The furniture was old dark wood, gleaming with polish, and covered with cheerful tatted lace runners. In contrast to the dark wood, the walls were papered in a white paper with tiny pink roses. The log cabin quilt on the bed was bolder, having been worked in solid blocks of red interspersed with printed blocks with red accents. An oval rag rug took up most of the floor. The entire effect wasn’t one of having been decorated, but it was harmonious.

“There should be an extra blanket, in the closet, but I don’t think you’ll need it. Upstairs is naturally warmer, and we put the feather beds on, when fall rolls around. But, if there’s anything you need, I’m right next door. Do you want the bathroom, first?”

“No, thanks. I’ll pull some stuff out, and change, for bed.”

“Okay. Good night, then.”

“Good night, Tuck. And, thanks.”

“We have company, all the time. It’s no bother. Sleep well, Lisa.”

“You, too.”

When he was gone, she unzipped her case, which Will had placed on the bed, and got out her sleepwear, toothbrush and paste. While she was changing into her pajamas, she heard Tuck open his door and pad toward the bathroom, barefooted. By the time she was dressed, and slippered, and had pulled out her book, he was back. She ventured out, when his door had closed softly.

The nightlight in the outlet near the stairs provided all the light needed to find her way to the bathroom, and she made quick work of her evening routine, then returned to her room. Over the sounds of running water, she hadn’t heard Gil come up the stairs, but there he was, grinning at her, from the oval rug.

The book was entitled Haunted: A Guide to Paranormal Manifestations. Lisa read the brief foreword, and made it through half of the first chapter, ‘What Do They Want’, before her eyes blurred, and she decided she had to close them. She turned off the bedside lamp, and settled deeper into the feather bed. The warmth from it and the quilt was comforting, and she dozed off, immediately.

When she woke, it was light out, though the sun wasn’t quite up. She felt more refreshed than she had, in days, but her bladder was insisting on a bathroom trip. She debated the possibility of a shower, before the others woke, and decided against it. She didn’t know who might need to be where, and at what time, so she threw on her robe and stepped into her slippers.

After washing her hands, Lisa ran a brush through her hair and fashioned it into a quick ponytail. She didn’t know whether to laugh at her reflection, or groan. In her haste to pack, she had grabbed the first pajama set she saw, in her drawer. It happened to be blue flannel, imprinted with bunnies. Not rabbits—bunnies. They had been a birthday gift from her Dad, who had challenged her by saying he knew she’d never wear them. Naturally, they were among her favorites.

Well, the robe covered a multitude of sins. She shrugged, and headed downstairs, to see if anyone else was up. No one was, so she pulled a Kelly, and started the coffee maker. She didn’t think anyone would mind.

When Tuck arrived on the scene, Lisa was seated at the table, with a freshly brewed cup, flipping through a magazine that she had found on the living room coffee table.

“How I do love an industrious house guest,” he said, making his way to the pot. He reached into a cabinet and produced a mug with Deputy Dawg on it, dumped some coffee into it, and joined her. “Nice jammies,” he chuckled.

Lisa gazed at his attire, a t-shirt and blue striped pajama pants, pointedly. “Shut up,” she said, but with a smile.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, more seriously.

“Didn’t I just? I don’t think I moved, all night.”

“Good. You needed it.”

“Do you have to work, today?”

“Nope. Figured I’d go for a ride, today. I’m hoping you and the kids will join me. I’m pretty sure Toni will, she’s always keen to ride. Of course, if Will goes, we’ll have to listen to them bicker over who gets Rocket.”

“The fast one, not the best one for a trail,” Lisa said.

“Yep. The trails around here are easy,” he explained, “but Polly’s thing is that she loves water, and when we cross creeks, she splashes as much as she can manage. The water is starting to cool down, and Toni hates to get wetter than she has to, especially when the water is chilly. Rocket will find the shallowest path, and pick her way across it, like Queen Elizabeth the First.”

Lisa chuckled. This man really knew and liked his horses.

“Do you ride Western, or English?” she asked. “I’ve never ridden English.”

“Western, of course. But, if you let him, Will rides around bareback. Don’t know what ails that boy.”

“It’s my obvious Miccosukee heritage,” Will said, as he entered the kitchen, his flaming hair seriously rumpled.

Tuck snorted, watching his son-in-law break out cereal, milk, and a glass of orange juice.

“Will! I was going to make pancakes,” Toni remonstrated, making her appearance.

“So, make pancakes. I’ll have some bacon.”

“Sit down, honey, and have some coffee, first,” Tuck suggested.

“I’ll have it, while I cook,” she said. “I’m hungry. Are you planning to ride today, Dad?”

“Of course. And, you get Rocket, today. Will rode her last time we all went out.”

Toni turned to stick her tongue out at Will, who laughed at her, before she proceeded to go about making breakfast. “What size boots do you wear, Lisa?” she asked, over her shoulder.

“My sneakers should be okay. I have long socks.”

“Better tell her, Miss Lisa,” Will advised. “She won’t let it rest, until you do.”

“Eight and a half,” Lisa confessed.

“Great,” Toni said. “We’re the same size.”

“No. These are too nice,” Lisa said, when Toni presented her with a pair of dark brown Tony Lama’s. The boots had been broken in, but were barely scuffed.

“You’re doing me a favor. They’re comfortable, but they could be a little more worn, for my taste. Slip them on, and walk out with me, to feed the goats. That should be enough walking to see whether or not they rub your feet in any way they shouldn’t. And, don’t talk to me about getting them dirty. That’s what working boots are for.”

So, Lisa obeyed. She had no notion of what Toni’s mother had been like, but she saw a lot of her father, in the younger woman. Clearly, one had to pick one’s battles, when dealing with either of them.

The boots were comfortable, if a little alien feeling. Lisa hadn’t worn boots, since she was a girl, but she noticed that they had been worn enough that there wasn’t any more of the characteristic heel slip of new boots.

The goats struck up a noisy chorus, when they caught sight of Toni.

“You’d think they hadn’t been fed in a week, wouldn’t you?” Toni remarked.

“They do sound hungry,” Lisa agreed. “No kids?” she asked, looking at the pens.

“Not at this time of the year, no. It’s about time to start breeding again, actually. I always like the spring, when the kids are born. They’re adorable, and I only have to milk, once a day.”

Lisa watched, while Toni got a bucket of feed, and poured it into a trough that was on an elevated platform with a ramp leading up to it. It was fascinating to see the does climb the ramp, and stick their heads willingly into a device which held them firmly but gently, to be milked, one by one. They didn’t seem to mind it, at all, and Toni was a quick, efficient milker.

“Tuck says you sell most of the kids.”

“I do, or I swap them, sometimes. It keeps me from having inbreeding problems.”

“I really liked the soap, by the way,” Lisa said, thinking of the fresh bar she had been given, to shower with, this morning.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Toni smiled. “It moisturizes, and exfoliates, at the same time. I want to learn how to make lotion, too. Goat milk products are a niche market, but it’s a comfortable niche, and best of all, they’re good products. I could never be happy, peddling garbage.”

“Sounds like something that might go over well, in the Silver Chalice,” Lisa remarked.

“Mandy does carry a few bars, from time to time, but it’s an iffy thing. Some of her customers are vegans, so it doesn’t sell at all to that crowd. They’d rather buy things that are supposedly cruelty free, but loaded with chemicals that only a chemist could identify. To each their own, I suppose.”

“Well, these ladies don’t look abused.”

“Can’t get good milk out of sick or injured goats,” Toni agreed.

When the does had been milked, and the milk properly stored, Toni fed everyone, distributing pats and scritches liberally, then they walked to the barn.

The horses had all eaten, and three were already saddled and ready to go. Lisa felt a hint of apprehension, watching Tuck tighten the girth on Tango. He looked bigger today, than he had, yesterday.

“Do I get a helmet?” Lisa joked nervously.

“You get this,” Will said, plunking a straw cowboy hat on her head, in passing.

“Yeah, that’ll protect me.”

Tuck smiled at her. “It’ll protect you from the sun, and from rain, if any showers crop up, but that’s not likely, today.” He drew the left stirrup down from across the saddle, and offered her his hands, with fingers interlaced, bending slightly. “Come on, you don’t weigh more than a fly,” he said, when she hesitated.

Lisa grabbed the saddle horn, and placed her left foot into his hands. Tuck lifted her with ease, and went to work, adjusting her stirrups. Tango pricked his ears forward, and snorted, when Toni suddenly took off on Rocket, whooping like a manic cowgirl.

“Don’t mind them,” Tuck said. “It’s a ritual. When Rocket seems antsy before a trail ride, we give her a little run. This kind of weather makes her frisky.”

It was a beautiful day—unseasonably warm, with a light breeze, and cloudless. Lisa bent forward, and stroked Tango’s neck, with her free hand, while she watched Toni tear around the pasture on her mount, then slow her to a canter, a trot, then finally to a walk.

“All set,” Tuck said, patting Lisa’s booted calf.

She watched him swing easily up onto his own horse and take up the reins. She imitated him, adjusting her own reins so that they weren’t too loose.

“He’s a follower, in a group of horses,” Tuck told her. “I’ll either be by you or behind you, on the trail, so don’t worry about a thing.”

Famous last words, Lisa thought, riding out beside him, to meet Toni and Will where they were waiting, at the pasture gate, on the far end. She thought she might come off Tango, when he broke into a trot, to keep up with Tuck and Buckshot, but she managed to find her balance, just in time. She hoped there wouldn’t be much trotting involved, because it was a long way to the ground.

Without dismounting, Will opened the gate and swung it wide, for the others to pass, then closed it behind them all. The maneuver wasn’t strictly necessary, since there were no horses left in the pasture to escape from an open gate, but it was impressive. She, herself, hadn’t gotten far enough in her Western Pleasure classes to perfect that. Some of it was coming back to her, though. She remembered to keep her heels down, and to allow her body to move with the horse, from the waist down. Tango was a large barreled horse, though, and she knew her legs were going to kill her, tomorrow.

It was evident that Will was to be the trail leader, today, and he selected an easy path through the woods, that was broad enough to ride two abreast in most places. It wasn’t as dark as the pine forest next to Lisa’s home. The trees here were mostly oaks, with some mountain laurels thrown in, for good measure, making for a shady trail, with some open stretches where the sun shone through.

“So, what do you think?” Tuck asked, moving up beside her.

“It’s beautiful. There won’t be much trotting, will there?”

“No, this is strictly a walking trail. Too many little obstacles which aren’t obstacles when a horse is walking, but could be a little dangerous, if going too fast. These horses know it, too. They’ve been up and down it, many times.”

“And, creeks?”

“One small, shallow one. Piece of cake. They’ll barely get their ankles wet, which will disappoint the hell out of Polly. Still, she’ll stamp and slosh as much as she can,” he chuckled.

“Your big fellow will walk right through, just another part of the trail, to him. I can tell you’ve ridden, before, by the way. I see you guiding him, with the reins.”

“I guess there are some habits you don’t forget,” she said. “I had lessons, when I was a kid.”

“Why did you stop?”

“We moved, closer into the city. It was too much hassle to get me to lessons, and I ended up doing other things, instead. I’ll bet you wish you had a cow or two to chase, on her,” she nodded toward the Appaloosa.

“I’d probably break my leg,” he laughed. “I’m too old for that stuff.”

“Not too old to carry a gun and chase down criminals, though.”

“Well, I’m getting a little old for that, too. Oh, I’m still in good shape, but it’s about time for me to think about retiring.”

“You can’t be fifty-five, yet.”

“Fifty-four. Fifty-five would be early retirement, and I’d still have enough health, God willing, and time to enjoy doing the things I like to do. Fishing, riding, chasing wild women…”

Lisa chuckled. “I never had much patience with fishing,” she said.

“Then, you haven’t fished any good spots. When they’re biting, it’s fun.”

“Yeah, fun. Getting up before daylight, pouring so much coffee into yourself that you have to pee before you even get into the boat, shivering as you cross the lake, burning the skin off every exposed inch, when the sun does come up. Fun.”

“Well, I can only guess your idea of fun is opening a business, after retiring from years on one job. I can see your point; you’re your own boss, and you can close your shop any day you want to go fishing.”

“If there ever is a shop.”

“Oh, there will be a shop, and it will be a hit, too. People around here will love a place where they can buy books and be as comfortable as in their own living rooms.”

“That’s exactly the kind of place I want. See, you’re starting to get me, too.”

The creek, as advertised, was shallow and easy to cross, though broad. The only challenge was getting down the bank to get to it, and even that wasn’t bad. Lisa remembered to lean back in her saddle, to help Tango descend. Polly, did splash as much water on Toni and Rocket as possible, also as advertised. Of course, Will egged her on, by riding circles around his wife, as she crossed. Toni laughed and yelled at him, while Tuck and Lisa sat back and watched, to avoid being splashed, themselves.

The rest of the ride was lovely, and Lisa thanked her lucky stars that she made it back to the barn without taking a tumble. While the men saw to the horses, she followed Toni back to the house to help her pull lunch together. It didn’t take long, consisting of soup, sandwiches and fruit.

“I had the best time, this morning,” she said, when they were all seated at the table. “Thanks, so much.”

“You’re a good rider, for someone who’s been away from it, for a while,” Will commented. “I think you should pick up your lessons again.”

“Well, let’s see how well I’m walking, tomorrow,” Lisa chuckled.

“I’d like to see,” Tuck frowned a little. “Which is to say, I don’t much like the thought of you going back to that house.”

“It’s my home now,” Lisa replied, and took a bite of an apple wedge. “I can’t avoid it, forever. I’ve got to find out what’s going on, if I can. I was reading, last night that manifestations usually appear when they want something, or have unfinished business.”

“Not exactly a new idea,” Toni observed.

“No, it’s not. But it’s my job, to figure it out.”

“And, just why is that your job?” Tuck challenged.

“Well, it occurred to me that I brought it on myself. You see, when I arrived, and saw the sad state the graves were in, I promised to take care of everyone, buried there. I promised it aloud. The way I see it, someone’s taking me up on it.”

“Hogwash!” Tuck exclaimed, scowling, now.

But, Will was nodding, and Toni said, “I think that sounds about right, Dad. Lisa made a commitment. It just happens to have been a commitment with fine print she didn’t know about.” She fixed Lisa with a stern, narrow eyed stare. “Always read the fine print, Lisa!” she mock scolded, and everyone laughed, except Tuck.

“Oh, come on, Tuck,” Lisa said. “I think I’m on to something important, here. Maybe my ghosts will dial it back a notch or two, if they know I’m trying to make things right.”

“And, maybe they won’t. All I’ve seen and heard about has been escalation.”

“They wanted my attention, and now they have it. If I acknowledge that, and proceed accordingly, I think I can work this out.”