Amateur Hour

There wasn’t a soul in sight, the next day, when Lisa showed up at Tuck’s place. Even Toni’s blue Prius was gone. She sat in her car, for a long moment, deliberating. If she waited long enough, someone was bound to show up. Why should she wait, though? Finally, she opened the glove box for her pen and notepad. She scribbled a hasty note that she was taking the north trail. Will had drummed it into her, during her own lessons that it was important that someone should always be told where she was going, if she went out alone. Lisa wedged her note firmly in the screen door, then headed afoot to the barn.

Tango, Luna and Polly greeted her, from the near pasture, as she went into the building for a lead rope. The horses just glanced at her, and went back to eating the hay that had been scattered close to the fence. It was easier than she had thought it would be, to snag Luna, who liked her, though they had never been out together, before.

Luna snorted and stamped a foot, when she found that Lisa had tied her just close enough to the post that she couldn’t reach around to whisk the saddle blanket off her back. Lisa laughed softly, and patted her neck. “Sorry, girl. I’m onto your tricks.”

Saddling up was second nature, now. Will had drilled her more times than she cared to think about on both Tango, and Polly. But, when she went to bridle the mare, Lisa noticed that the headstall was a notch tighter than usual. This was odd, but she unbuckled it and adjusted it back down a notch. She checked Luna’s mouth to make sure that there were no wrinkles at the corners—the sign of a too tight fit.

She led Luna out of the barn, and mounted. As she rode away, she didn’t see Toni peeking through the curtains, telephone in hand, reporting her progress to Will.

It was a cold day, but a beautiful one, for a ride. This trail was mostly uphill, through a wood with natural switchbacks that were barely perceptible, but made it easier for the horse. Luna moved along easily, her breath steaming from her nostrils, ears swiveling around from time to time to listen to Lisa’s occasional word.

The bobcat saw her, before she saw it, and froze. Lisa pulled up short and Luna stomped on front foot and snorted, tossing her head. The cat trotted across the trail, never taking its eyes off the woman and the horse, and vanished into the underbrush. Luna whinnied, shaking her head and neck.

“You tell him,” Lisa said, patting her horse’s neck. Luna continued on, when she was urged, as if nothing had happened.

The top of the hill was exposed, and cold, despite the mid morning sun. Still, Lisa paused, and admired the rolling land off to the west. The grass was brown in most places, from frost, but she imagined it would be a carpet of green, come summer.

By the time they got to the bottom of the trail again, Lisa’s nose was running a bit, and her eyes tearing from the cold, but she felt rejuvenated. She dismounted, and checked Luna’s chest, to make sure she wasn’t overheated, unsaddled her in the barn, gave her a quick once over with a brush, then turned her back out, with the other horses.

She was humming to herself and putting away her tack, when Toni appeared with two travel mugs of coffee.

“Looks like you had a good ride,” the younger woman grinned.

“I did. We saw a bobcat. Luna was as cool as a cucumber.”

“Good. You must have been, too, or she might have come running back, without you.” Toni traded her the hot coffee, for the bridle. She glanced at it, and smiled, a little.

“What?” Lisa asked, seeing the expression.

“Nothing. Come on back to the house, and get warm.”

“I thought no one was home,” Lisa said, as they walked along. She sniffed, trying to curb the impulse to dab at her runny nose with the back of her glove. “Where’s your car?”

“Parked around the other side of the house.” Toni fished around in her jacket pocket, and produced a plastic wrapped pack of tissues. She offered them to Lisa.

“You and your Dad are always prepared,” Lisa laughed, taking one. “Thanks. It’s not a cold, it’s just the cold. Makes me drippy, sometimes.”

“Me, too. The ride is worth it, though, isn’t it?”

“I can’t argue with that. Why is your car on the other side of the house?”

“Had a bet with Will. I won, by the way. He thought you wouldn’t go out alone, because you’re cautious. I was sure you would, because you don’t let little things stand in your way.”

“It could have gone either way. I thought about waiting. Then I thought about how ridiculous it would look for one of you to drive up, and find me waiting. Weak, you know?”

“Weak, dependent, indecisive—oh, yeah. I know.”

They walked up the steps and through the screen door onto the porch. Lisa noticed that her note was gone.

“It’s inside,” Toni said, taking in the glance.

It was–on the coffee table.

“It feels so good, in here,” Lisa exclaimed, as they shucked off their jackets and hung them on the coat tree. She stuffed her gloves into one of her jacket’s pockets, and hung up her hat, as well.

“I’ve made some fresh cookies. Want some, to go with your coffee?”

“Sure, thanks. The cold also makes me hungry, I think,” she added, following Toni out into the kitchen, which was even warmer than the living room. “I can’t believe Will bet against me,” she resumed their conversation.

“It’s worse than you know. I won a second bet with him that you wouldn’t notice the headstall on the bridle had been tightened a notch.”

“You mean he sabotaged me, too?” Lisa demanded, both amused and indignant.

“Yes, and no. It was just a notch. Wouldn’t have bothered Luna much, on a short ride. He wasn’t trying to hurt her, or you. Just wanted to see if you’d notice. You did, and I’m five dollars richer. Ten, counting both bets. Next time, I’ll bet more.”

Toni set a plate with several cookies on the table between them, and sat down. She picked up a cookie and bit into it, with a victorious little smile.

Lisa laughed softly, and took a bite of her own cookie. It was delicious. Chocolate chip, baked crispy on the outside, and just soft enough toward the middle. “These are really good.”

“I use goat butter, so they’re not too rich.”

Lisa nodded, and took another bite. “Are you having to cut back on rich foods, with the baby?”

“It seems to help. I don’t get as queasy as I did, at first. Just once in a while. At least the timing wasn’t too bad. I won’t have to play Miss Mona in a red satin muumuu.”

Lisa slapped her hand over her mouth, to prevent spraying crumbs. She coughed a little, and reached for her coffee. “Are you trying to kill me?” she demanded, after swallowing a couple of sips.

“Why? Tormenting you is so much more fun,” Toni grinned.

“You could be trying to bump me off, to save your Dad.”

“I think he can hold his own. All joking aside, it’s good to see him finally interested in someone, again. I’ve decided you’ll do.”

“When did you decide that?”

“About the time when he started talking seriously about retiring, and taking up the boarding stable idea.”

“You’re on board with the notion, then.”

“I think it should be expanded, over time. Why not offer trail rides on our own horses, too? That’s a far future idea, and we’re probably going to have to hire some people, but yeah—I’m totally for it. I’m for almost anything that gets Dad out of that patrol cruiser. It hasn’t been good for him for the last year, or so.”

“He doesn’t tell it, that way. Oh, he doesn’t paint a rosy picture, but he doesn’t sound miserable.”

“No, not miserable—but not happy, either. He used to be a happy man. From the heart, and from the gut, if you know what I mean. He lost that, when Mama died, and he never quite got it back, until just lately. The change is obviously a result of your influence. Thank God, you’re not a stupid bimbo, not that Dad has ever been drawn to that type.”

“I was pretty sure you were going to think I was a flake, when the whole ghost thing came up. Thankfully, I didn’t really know you well enough to care, at the time.”

“I might have thought just that, but Dad was there, that night. Whatever else he may be, he’s not a flake. Besides, I’ve never personally seen a koala, but I know they exist. By the way, have you seen or heard anything more from the Judge?”

“No.” There was a tinge of regret, in Lisa’s voice. “Sometimes, when I’m alone in the church building, I think I feel a benevolent presence, but that’s probably just wishful thinking.”

Nickie jumped up, from where she was lying, at Toni’s feet, alert and wagging from end to end, it seemed.

“That would be Dad,” Toni remarked.

“What shift is he on?”

“Graveyard, for now. I hate it, but he was out of the rotation, with his knee, so…” she shrugged.

Nickie barked a couple of times, and whined at the door. In a moment, they heard it open; heard Tuck greet his dog and take off his coat, then heard his booted steps heading their way.

“I smell cookies,” he sang out, sounding full of good humor. “I knew I saw a certain cowgirl’s hat,” he added, entering the kitchen and seeing Lisa there. He kissed each of them on the top of the head, and got himself some coffee.

“Lisa did her first solo ride, this morning,” Toni announced, as he sat down.

“Did she? Will owes me five bucks,” he grinned.

“Et tu?” Lisa scowled at him.

“Hey, five dollars is five dollars. I’m not above betting on a sure thing. You’re still in one piece, so I take it it went well.”

“Very well, thanks. It was cold, but fun.”

“Even after they ran up on the bobcat,” Toni remarked.

“Tattletale,” Lisa accused her.

“Luna didn’t spook?”

“No. I saw it, and pulled up short. She stomped once and snorted, and it went on its way.”

“You weren’t panicked, so the horse didn’t panic.”

“Well, for heaven’s sake, Tuck— I have seen a bobcat before!” Lisa laughed.

“Were you on a 1300-pound animal that you had never ridden before, at the time? Take your props, Lisa,” he said. “What are you doing?” he asked Toni when she got up and began rattling pots and pans.

“Feeding you. You can’t just eat a couple of cookies, and go to bed.”

“Of course, I can. I’d rather eat a meal, when I wake up. Just throw a couple of eggs in a pot, to boil. That’ll hold me,” he said, seeing that Toni was going to be adamant.

“I should probably go,” Lisa announced.

“You don’t have to rush off,” Toni said.

“Tuck needs to get to bed, and you need to get on with your day. And I need to shop for bookshelves and be there, for the painters. They’re due sometime after lunch.” This was a fib. The painters had started, before she left, but she didn’t want to interfere with Tuck’s sleep schedule.

Tuck showed up, around 9 pm. She should have known that he would.

“Does your boss know what you’re doing, Deputy?” she teased, letting him in.

“My dispatcher knows where I am, and I have my radio,” he defended himself. “I needed a fix,” he grinned, pulling her close.

He held her long enough for her to feel fluttery and alarmed, and then followed it up, with a delightfully disturbing kiss.

“Can you stay long enough for a drink of something?” she asked, when he had gently released her.

“If you have anything you can lay your hands on.”

“Iced tea? Unless it’s too cold, for that.”

“No, that’s fine.” He sat down at the table, and set his hat aside, while she got a couple of bottles from the refrigerator. “How’s the painting going?”

“I can’t believe it, but they’re almost finished. Maybe I should have expected it, though. The cleaning crew was fast, too. The painters set up several heaters. I thought it was for their comfort, but the foreman told me that while the low humidity was good, the temperature needed to be higher. The crew left, this afternoon, and the foreman came by to turn off the heaters, this evening. You wouldn’t believe how much brighter it is, in there.”

Tuck was about to reply, when the lights dimmed, brightened, then went out.

“Now, that’s timing,” Lisa laughed, in the dark.

“Grid’s overloaded, I guess.” The immediate area popped into sharp relief, as Tuck switched on his flashlight. “You have candles?”

“In the drawer, next to the coffee maker. My flashlight is there, too.”

Tuck found them, and brought her the flashlight.

“I have to go,” he said. “Something always happens, when the lights go out.”

Right on cue, his radio squawked, with a dispatcher reciting a code. Tuck turned his head to key the mic and responded quietly, in kind. “Prowler. Usually, that amounts to some neighbor, walking his dog.” He snagged his hat, and took another sip of his tea. “Do not stay here, if it gets too cold. Go to my place.”

“If my lights are out—“ Lisa began.

“I have generators. They’ve been set up since November,” he explained, a little too patiently.

“Okay,” she nodded, frowning. It struck her that he was in a hurry to leave, for a dubious prowler.

“Good.” He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, and was out the door, before she could open it, for him. She watched his flashlight move rapidly, not down the walk, but straight across the lawn, dodging the occasional headstone. The car door closed, and he zoomed quietly down the road, lights flashing. Watching them disappear, Lisa realized that he’d lied to her.

She was still thinking about it, an hour later, when the lights came back on. How did someone live with a cop, she wondered. She didn’t, in fact, and she had been eaten up with worry, the past hour. If anything had happened to him, she would absolutely be the last to know. She had no right, to know, of course, and that thought made her angry. Anger gave way, as it almost always did, to depression.

Lisa thought about making some coffee and immediately rejected the idea. Instead, she chose chamomile tea. She grimaced as she drank it. No one would ever be able to convince her it didn’t taste like boiled grass clippings, but it was hot, and the house was taking a while to warm back up. The tea worked, making her drowsy enough to go to bed.

When her phone rang at 4 am, she was utterly confused. It was Toni’s number, on the caller ID. Lisa felt sick, but she answered.

“Toni—?”

“Dad’s okay. I talked to him myself, just a minute ago.”

“All right.”

“He didn’t want to disturb you, but I told him you shouldn’t be left out of the loop. I think he knew you knew something was up, when he left you.”

“I thought so, yes.”

“I’ll let him do his own explaining, then.” Toni fetched a deep breath, before continuing. “He’s in the emergency room, right now, getting stitches. He’s not badly hurt, Lisa. He doesn’t even want one of us to pick him up. He told me he’s going to put his retirement paperwork in, today, so that’s something.”

“It is,” Lisa agreed. “Thanks for letting me know, Toni.”

“Of course. Talk to you later.”

Toni rang off, and Lisa rubbed her eyes. She wondered if she should try to go back to sleep, or— A rending crack brought her attention to her night table, and to the little black tourmaline obelisk, there. She watched as the crack in the stone grew longer and longer, until the two pieces fell asunder on the table top.

They shouldn’t have done that. The flat base should have prevented it, but the pieces seemed to pop apart, with a small violence that toppled them, in opposite directions. Lisa was still staring at them, when a louder pop from the front of the house told her that the small pyramid on the coffee table had met a similar fate.

Gil leaped off the foot of the bed, and ran down the hall, to investigate. Lisa followed, more slowly, calling him. She found the dog sniffing at the stone pyramid, which was no longer a pyramid. The top had flown off and become lodged in the drywall opposite the table, having missed the TV by inches. The larger portion was split down the middle.

Tuck had rejected the proffered prescription for an opioid, in favor of the ibuprofen he kept in his glove compartment. He knocked it back with a swig of cold coffee, and shuddered at the taste. He put the car in gear, and began to drive.

He was tempted to go straight home. He was tired, and didn’t really want to face the ire of Lisa, just now. Why was he getting ready to subject himself to a scolding, anyway? What could he have done, differently, after all? Nothing—that was what.

Tuck grimaced, and felt the stitches pulling at his cheek. No pain, yet; it was still numb. He was lucky the glass hadn’t lodged more deeply than it had, or else he would be hurting inside his mouth and out. The gash had been two inches long, but the doctor said it was likely to heal well, without too much scarring.

Adrenaline was one hell of a drug, he reflected. It had left him feeling drained, when it had subsided, but at the time, Tuck had felt only the impact of the glass striking his face. By the time he felt the sting, the collar of his shirt had been soaked with blood.

It was a good thing he always carried a change of clothes to work, whether he used them, or not.

When he arrived at Lisa’s house, he hoped against hope that she wouldn’t be up. That hope was dashed, when Gil darted happily toward him, to jump up on the chain link of his pen. Tuck spared the dog more than a few words, reluctant to go to the door.

When Lisa opened it, she looked more concerned than angry, however.

“What happened?” she demanded, pulling him inside, staring at the over-sized bandage on his face.

“It’s not nearly as bad as it looks. It’s a cut, about two inches long, and it was all I could do, to keep the nurse from bandaging me up, like a mummy.”

“You weren’t called out for a prowler, were you?” she asked, setting a cup in front of him, and motioning him to sit down, across from her.
“Bless you—I was dying for something hot. No, it wasn’t a prowler. It was a domestic disturbance.”

Lisa paled, and sat down. “What happened?” she repeated, after a deep breath.

“Not much. I was third to arrive, on the scene. We knocked, he let us in, she threw a glass plate, Frisbee style…” he grinned at the memory. “I don’t know whether she expected to shear his head off, or what. Anyway, it hit the wall, next to me, and I ended up with a piece of glass in my face.” This wasn’t all of the story, but it was enough. Lisa didn’t need to know that she had disappeared for a moment, and come back with a butcher knife.

She didn’t need to know about the struggle that had ensued, to wrest the knife from the woman’s grip, or that man had to be dragged bodily from the house, because he would not shut his mouth, and insisted on baiting her. It wasn’t necessary to tell her about the screaming kids, who had had to be taken away.

Tuck didn’t realize that he had fallen silent, for several seconds, staring into his cup, until Lisa took one of his hands. He looked up, and she gazed back at him. She knew he was withholding some of the tale.

“At least tell me you’re going to have a fine, rugged scar, to show for it,” she quipped, at last.

“Not much of one, I’m afraid,” he smiled, then winced. “It smarts, though. The lidocaine is wearing off.” He paused. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

“You didn’t want me to worry.”

“No.”

“In that case, you need to work on your technique. Your lie didn’t fly.”

Tuck laughed, then winced again. “Dammit, that hurts! Don’t make me laugh.”

“You look beat.”

“I am. I should get home, I reckon.” He pulled aside the window curtain. “I think your painters just drove up.”

Lisa looked, too. “That’s them. Walk you out to your car?”

“I’d like that.”

The air was still, and the early sun felt good.

“You’re limping a little, again,” Lisa noticed.

“It’s fine. I just need to rest it a bit.”

“Toni said you were going to file your paperwork, today. Did you?”

“I did. It was already filled out, so I just dropped it on the Captain’s desk. I got the impression that he wasn’t exactly heartbroken. It’s a job that favors younger men and women,” he shrugged.

“You’re right. You’re far too old and crusty to be of much use, now.”

Tuck laughed again, and swore. “You’re lucky I love you, or I wouldn’t tolerate such abuse,” he said, sliding into the driver’s seat.

Lisa stared, then tried not to stare.

“You should see the look on your face,” he tried not to grin. “I said what I said. Now, give me a kiss, and go deal with your painters.”