Amateur Hour

Dinner that night was beef stew. Lisa ate two bowls of it. Tuck ate two bowls, and half of a third.

“Nothing like having your cooking appreciated,” Toni remarked.

“It’s the best stew I’ve ever had,” Lisa replied. “I’m such a glutton!”

“You worked up an appetite. I was starting to worry a little, you two were out so long.”

“It was a long ride,” Tuck acknowledged. “We found the old homestead. Only, it’s actually a house that’s still standing.”

“Victorian, from the looks of it,” Lisa put in. “Post Civil War. I wish we’d thought to take some pictures.”

“It’ll look better on a sunny day, anyway,” Tuck shrugged.

“What kind of shape was it in?” Will asked.

“We only saw the front. It looked like a faded black and white photo of itself.” Tuck leaned back, to sip his tea.

“Still pretty symmetrical,” Lisa added. “The railing looked intact, and the porch didn’t sag.”

“I’ll bet the termites are all linking elbows, to keep it from falling down,” Will joked.

“Most likely,” Tuck agreed. “I plan to send Lisa in, to reconnoiter the place. She weighs less than I do.”

“He gave up the badge, to become a comedian,” Lisa commented to the air.

Mandy had agreed to meet him very early, this morning, to settle the matter of the watch fob. Tuck was impressed, when he saw it. Mandy had cleaned it until the silver looked brand new, and the pale blue sheen of the moonstone gave the object an entirely new character. There had been a heaviness about the piece, when he had brought it in. Now it appeared almost airy.

“What do you think?” Lady Amanda asked.

“It’s stunning. You outdid yourself, Mandy.”

“Why, thank you. I’m pleased with it, myself.”

“How much do I owe you?”

“Thirty for the stone, and another thirty for my labor.”

“You should charge more.”

Mandy shrugged. “It’s for Lisa. I do like that girl. I think you should marry her.”

“Well, damn, Mandy—do you have any other opinions?” Tuck laughed, pulling out his wallet.

“As a matter of fact, I do. I think she should open her bookstore, and demolish the rectory.”

“Well, we might just agree on that one. I’d like to get a chain for this, too. Maybe a long one, to make it easier to slip on and off. I don’t know if she sleeps in her jewelry, or not.”

“Maybe you should find out,” Mandy teased, then turned to pull a few candidates off the rack behind her.

“I’ll make a mental note, to ask her,” Tuck replied with dignity, though he colored, a bit.

It was breaking dawn, when Tuck let himself into the church, using the key he had borrowed from Lisa’s keyring. He’d felt guilty about it when he took it, and he felt guilty about it now. It had been a compulsion, just like everything else related to the watch fob.

He walked down what used to be the nave, mentally mocking himself for it. The landscape inside the church had changed. There was no nave. There were no lines of pews. It was mostly empty space, with a few places left, to sit. Tuck parked himself on the pew that sat against the wall nearest the podium.

It was so much quieter, in here now, he reflected, almost as though the furnishings and dust that had been removed had made some kind of noise, when they were here.

“Everything has a vibration, of course.”

Tuck turned his head to see the shade of his ancestor, sitting next to him. Though, shade seemed to be an inaccurate word to describe a being that gave off light.

“Our understanding of it is crude, so I suppose ‘noise’ is as good a way to perceive it, as any,” the Judge continued. “I’ve been wondering if you would ever get around to visiting.”

“I’ve been here before. You’re the one who vanishes, at the sight of me.”

“It’s not you, son. I just believe in letting living people do what they should do, without my being there. It’s a matter of ethics.” The old ghost shrugged, with a hint of a smile.

“I think we found your old house,” Tuck blurted. He was unsure why; this wasn’t what he had come to talk about.

“White Victorian? Tucked away off the main road?”

“With brick pillars at the entrance, and a magnolia lined drive.”

“Yes,” the Judge smiled. “That’s the place. It was a fine house, though I had my misgivings about building it. I felt that I could live more simply, but Margaret wanted it. She was right—I never expected to have as many children as we did.” After a pause, he resumed. “You’re thinking about Beatrice, aren’t you?”

“I’m wondering, yes.”

“I never stopped loving her. We both knew that, yet, she was the very last person who would have wanted me to give up my own future for her sake. It was she who introduced me to Margaret, and later encouraged me to marry her.”

“Were you happy, together?”

“We were. Maggie was my reality, my touchstone, and the mother of my children. She was warm and practical, and made me laugh. She wasn’t as lovely as Beatrice, but she had her own beauty. Her eyes were particularly arresting—deep green, like your Lisa’s.”

“Speaking of Lisa, I found something of yours, that I would like to give to her.” Tuck pulled out the necklace, in its small box, and opened it, to show the Judge, who looked a bit puzzled, by the sight of it. “The stone was broken. I had it replaced,” Tuck explained.

“Oh—my watch fob, from Beatrice. I didn’t recognize it. Yes, that stone is much more suited to a lady. By all means, give it to her.”

“Just like that?” Tuck couldn’t help being skeptical.

“I have no use for it. I noticed that pocket timepieces went out of style, many years ago, so I doubt that you’d want it, for your own watch.”

“It meant a lot, to you.”

“It did, yes. I remember when I lost it—Maggie and I turned the house upside down, for a good hour, looking for it.” He looked amused, as though by the antics of a child. “I was made of matter, then. You’ll understand, one day. Dare I hope that this is a romantic gesture? Never mind—of course it is,” the Judge chuckled, at Tuck’s reaction. “Consider any more of my earthly goods that you find bequeathed to you, to do with as you see fit.” The Judge paused, then said: ”You don’t need a business excuse, to visit, you know. Just between you and me, I think Lisa sometimes comes in here when she merely wants to chat.”

“Do you know what she has planned, for the place?”

“A bookstore— I heard her relate her plans in great detail, to Janice. I’m sorry that it won’t be a house of worship, anymore, but it hasn’t been, for a long time. Lisa respects the place, though, and I can think of worse uses, for it.”

“Will you still be here? Are you… stuck here?”

The Judge laughed, shaking his head. “How to explain the afterlife, to the living…” he mused, still smiling. “Yes, I’m still here. I was bound to this place, once; you, Lisa, Will, Toni, Janice and Liam, freed me. I can stay here, as long as I want, or leave, whenever I want. But, I’m not just here. I’m not omnipresent, like God, but I’m not restricted in the same way I was, when I was alive. I’m…multi-present. It’s more exciting and interesting than you can imagine.”

“You look…very strong.” He did, in fact. The Judge was showing no signs of fading.

“My energy comes from a different source, now. I don’t rely on earthly things or people, for it. When I’m only seen and not heard, it’s either because I’m playing the Cheshire cat, or because I want to convey a very direct and important message—like about the ladder.”

“What else do you know, about the storm cellar?”

“Everything you do, now. Before, it was very vague. I couldn’t tell you how I knew about the ladder—I’m no more omniscient than I am omnipresent. I knew only that there was a ladder, somewhere, that it was unsound, and that Lisa should be warned. Noah certainly came to a bad end, didn’t he?” Lovejoy changed the subject.

“He had this, on him.” Tuck held up the box, briefly.

“That’s all right. It was mine—never his. You go ahead and give that to Lisa, with my compliments. It’s perfectly safe. The cellar, on the other hand is not—but, I think you know that. What you don’t know, that I’m going to tell you, is that the danger is more to you, than to Lisa.”

“I don’t see how. The…evil is feeding off her, not me.”

“He has been, yes. There’s no abstract evil, here. Just Noah. However, you’d be a much tastier meal, and a potential vehicle, as well.”

Tuck wasn’t buying it, and the Judge could see that, evidently.

“Remember how you insisted on trying cut that lock, even though you could see how tired Lisa looked? How you didn’t react to her panic, when she saw the body? How you had to try to find something to identify Noah, though she was just about ready to drop with exhaustion? No, you’re not to blame—so don’t look like that. You were being fed upon. You just didn’t notice it. That’s bad, but becoming a vehicle would be worse. So much worse.”

Lisa padded out of the kitchen with two cups of coffee, just as he was getting ready to slide her key back onto its ring.

“I thought you were back. I brought you—“ she broke off when she saw her set of keys in his left hand, and the single key in his right.

“I needed to talk to the Judge about something,” he confessed, holding up the church key, then proceeding to work it onto the ring. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Did he show up?” she asked, moving to hand him his cup.

“He did. You were right—he thinks it’s unethical to interfere with living people. You’re really not mad about me borrowing your key?”

“No. In fact, maybe we should have a duplicate made, for you. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to have you holding onto a spare, whether you decide to use it, or not.” Lisa sat down on the couch, and yawned. “Was it a good talk?”

“Some of it. Some of it was a little disturbing. It was all very informative.”

Lisa chuffed a little laugh. “That’s just how I feel, after talking to him, most of the time.”

“I wanted to ask him about this.” Tuck drew the little cardboard box out of his pocket. “He said I could give it to you, with his compliments.”

Lisa opened the box, and admired the necklace, but made no move to touch it.

“It’s okay. He said that it was his, never Noah’s, and that it’s perfectly safe.”

She did take it out, then. “It’s really beautiful. How did you get it cleaned and reset, so fast?”

“Mandy did it, for me.”

“Did she choose the moonstone?”

“I proposed moonstone, thinking it would match your owl, if you ever wanted to wear both at the same time.” It was astonishing how that lie just rolled right off his tongue. “But, yeah, Mandy picked that particular stone.”

“It seems like too much.”

“Well, that’s why I wanted to discuss it with its original owner. He was pleased that it still existed, but made it very clear that he has no need of it, anymore. He liked the idea of your having it.”

Tuck took it from her loose grasp, and slipped the chain over her head.

“It’s not a huge honking diamond, Lisa. It’s just a little moonstone. For luck.” He lifted her hair from between the chain and her neck, then dropped a light kiss on her brow.

“It’s very pretty, Tuck. Thank you. Maybe Toni should have it, though.”

“No. It’s for you. Toni has all of the heirloom pieces she could ever want, and she hardly wears those.”

“What should I say, if she asks where it came from?”

“Tell her it’s an antique watch fob I found, and I had it made into a pendant, for you. One hundred percent true.”

“What did you do, with the lock of hair?” Lisa asked, suddenly.

“It’s still in there. You can take it out, if you don’t want it, and I’ll put it away, somewhere.”

Lisa thought about it. “No…” she replied, slowly, shaking her head. “No. It should be kept as is. It’s only hair, and Beatrice was a good soul. She deserves to be remembered.”

Tuck was relieved. He didn’t know why, but it seemed to him as though, if there were any ‘magic’ to the piece, some of it might be lost, if a component was missing. The fob had been a love gift from Beatrice to the Judge. If there was any magic at all that Tuck believed in, it was love. He’d die before admitting it, of course.

“The chain is long enough, that I can tuck it out of sight,” she noticed.

“Or just out of your way, if you’re working,” Tuck nodded.

She surprised him, by leaning over to give him a lingering kiss. “Thank you. I’ll treasure it, and enjoy wearing it.” She smiled, looking more relaxed.

“Where’s Lisa?” Tuck asked his daughter. He and Lisa had fallen into the habit of getting their showers before breakfast, to allow the water time to heat up for the other two. Lisa had gone first, this morning, and was nowhere to be found, upstairs. She hadn’t been in the living room, either.

“Don’t the two of you ever talk? She begged off breakfast. Said she had some things to do, in town, this morning. Something about having another key made, to the church, for one thing. That reminds me—she ought to have a key to the house, too. She might not always be able to count on one of us to be home.”

Tuck made a face of exaggerated astonishment. “You think we should trust her?”

“I think she pretty much lives here, at least for now.” Toni tapped grits off her wooden spoon, and put the lid back on the pot.

“I don’t think that’s her longterm plan.” He wondered if he looked as sheepish as he felt. Evidently, he did.

“I don’t mind it, Dad, but I do have things to do sometimes. I need to go grocery shopping, today, for instance.”

“I still have your Mom’s key, I think.”

“No, you don’t. I do.” She fished it out of her apron pocket, and placed it on the counter, in front of him. “Please remember to give it to Lisa, if I’m not home.”

Tuck looked at the key for a couple of seconds, then dropped it back into Toni’s apron pocket. “You have a good heart, honey. I’ll have a duplicate of mine made.”

“You need a duplicate house key, Pa?” Will asked, breezing in from somewhere in the rear of the house. He stole a piece of bacon and took a bite, before producing his own set.

As always, Tuck had to stare at the ring, crammed with keys. None of them were to properties Will had in his listings. There were barn keys, tool shed keys, keys to each vehicle, keys to the tractor, keys to the mower, keys to lock boxes, keys to his office, and, yes—keys to the house.

“Here you go,” Will said, forking one over, before taking another bite of his purloined bacon.

“I knew you were good for something. It’s just never something that I expect,” Tuck observed. “Just how many spare keys do you have to this house, Jethro?”

Will just grinned his silly, good humored grin. “Only one, now.”

“You are a walking, talking security risk.”

“Pa, if someone steals my key ring, to get into the house, what difference does it make which house key they use?”

“If you lose your key ring, what difference does it make that you had two spares on it?”

“Obviously, the spares aren’t for me. They’re to avoid having to make trips to the hardware store, for no other reason. I’d use the cleverly concealed key taped to the bottom of the mat at the mudroom door. Seriously, though—if you mean to open a business here, you might want to look into getting some cameras. Security is a selling point, these days.”

“I’ll have to mull that one over. I’m not a fan of some of the third party security companies, out there.”

“Get CCTV, at least, Dad,” Toni put in. “It might help with your insurance rates.”

“True,” Tuck admitted. Will had a valid point, too. Clients would feel better, knowing their expensive animals were being monitored. “I’m afraid I could be biting off more than I can chew, trying to do it myself. So much of that stuff is WiFi, these days. You know I have trouble getting my cell to pair with my laptop—imagine me trying to set up cameras.”

“Step one,” Toni began, sitting down to breakfast, “get a dedicated computer. Step two, get a very large monitor. Step three, enlist the aid of your daughter, the modestly gifted computer nerd.”

“I could do worse than to shop, I guess.”

“Do it online,” Toni advised. “I have to get groceries, today, and Will has to go to work.”

“Right,” Tuck nodded. Yet, all through breakfast, he worried about Lisa’s whereabouts.

When the kids were gone, and Lisa still hadn’t returned, Tuck grabbed his coat, and put it on while still walking to the Jeep. A light drizzle had begun to fall, and so had the temperature. There had been talk of possible flurries, this evening. Tuck had seen this a grand total of three times, in his whole life. He was more concerned about ice than snow. He hoped that Toni would get her shopping done, quickly, and get off the roads.

As Tuck had expected, Lisa’s car was parked in the church parking lot. He muttered a curse, and swung in to park next to her. He paused next to his car, for a moment, to let his annoyance abate. This was her house. She had every right to be here, and maybe a good reason, too. Still, his rap at the door was more than a little bit sharp.

“Come back, with a warrant,” Lisa called, from inside.

Tuck couldn’t help but be amused. His knock had sounded exactly like that of a cop. He opened the door to find her loading her laptop and some other things into a soft sided briefcase. The case still had a price tag on it.

“Need some help?” he offered.

“No. I just wanted this and Gil’s bed. It’s supposed to be chilly, tonight.”

“It’s chilly, already. It’s cold in here, too. Did you turn off your heat?”

“That would be a dumb thing to do. I don’t want the pipes to freeze. But, it does seem cold, doesn’t it?” Lisa abandoned what she was doing, to check the thermostat. Tuck walked to the kitchen sink, and opened the tap to let cold water dribble into the sink. “It’s fifty-six degrees, in here,” she reported, with a deep frown. “Is the power on?”

“Seems to be.” Of course, the sink wouldn’t have worked, if the well was off. He brushed past her in the hall, and went to turn on the bathroom tap, as well. He was walking back toward her, when the loud, solid thump came from the bedroom. It was unmistakably the sound of wood striking wood.

Tuck jumped and turned, at the same time. Lisa ran toward him, and he threw up an arm, to block her. “Stay behind me,” he commanded.

They entered the bedroom to find the cellar cover had been flung off the opening and halfway across the room. They both merely stared, for a moment, in disbelief. Then, Lisa spoke.

“I’m not afraid of you,” she announced. “This is what is known as an epic fail, Noah.”

Through his concern at what might happen next, Tuck felt a touch of amusement at her choice of words. He turned to see that she was unconsciously gripping the pendant, under her blouse.

“Let’s go,” he suggested. “He’s had his little poltergeist moment.”

Tuck was mistaken. As they went down the walk, both windows in the bedroom shattered outward, spraying glass into the side yard, and onto the hoods of their cars.

“There goes my power bill,” Lisa said, when the shock began to wear off.

“No… I can put up some plywood. On the outside,” he added, seeing that she was getting ready to object. “That was probably his last hurrah, for the day.” He hoped he was right. Tuck felt a tension headache coming on.

“Or, I could just turn the power off, out here. I’d rather risk the pipes than you.”

Tuck sighed, and thought about it. “Turn it off, for now. If it looks like it might freeze, I’ll slap up some plywood, and turn it back on.”

Tuck was quiet, when they got home. While she made coffee, he turned on the TV to the local weather channel, then went back outside. The coffee had finished brewing, and she was wondering whether to pour one cup or two, when she caught a glimpse of him, dragging two pieces of plywood around the house, toward the front.

When he came back in, he didn’t seem to be in a foul mood, but he didn’t offer much in the way of conversation, either.

“Does your neck hurt?” she asked, after watching him rub it distractedly, for a couple of minutes, as he sat alone in front of the TV.

“A little. Tension, I think.”

“Aspirin?”

“Bring the bottle, would you?”

She did, and sat down next to him.

Tuck shook out four, and, to her horror, popped them into his mouth and chewed them up, before downing them with a healthy sip of coffee.

“They work faster, that way,” he explained, seeing her look.

“Whatever you say, Deputy. I don’t know which is worse. Bitter aspirin, or bitter coffee.”

“Fun fact: chewing your aspirin makes your black coffee taste sweet.” He smiled but it looked like a tired smile.

“Why don’t I sit in a chair, and let you stretch out, for a while?”

“All right. I don’t have the energy to argue with you,” he acquiesced, still smiling.

He was asleep, when both dogs alerted to the sound of Toni’s car, pulling up in the driveway. Lisa hurried out, as quickly and quietly as she could, to help with the groceries.

“Your Dad had a little headache. He’s napping, on the couch,” Lisa explained, helping Toni drag bags out of her Prius.

“I hope it’s not his blood pressure playing up, again,” Toni scowled a little, then her face lightened. “Thanks for the help.”

“Of course. I’d like to chip in some grocery money, too.”

“We can go over it, later,” Toni shrugged. “Did Dad give you the key?” she asked, closing the hatch of the car.

“Key? No, I was going to give him a key, to the church.”

“You two really don’t talk, do you?” Toni laughed. “A key to the house,” she elaborated, as they started up the steps. “Will had a spare and he gave it to Dad to give to you.”

“Oh.” It was all she had time to say before Toni eased open the front door, and walked quietly in. Lisa tiptoed after her. Tuck didn’t so much as stir, when they passed, despite Nickie’s low whine of greeting, and Gil’s little chuff.

“He’s down for the count, isn’t he?” Toni commented softly, when they had reached the kitchen. “He must really be tired.”

“Probably of me and from me, too. It seems some vandal decided to break some of my windows, on top of everything else.”

“Ah… that’s what the plywood is for.”

“If it freezes. I turned the power off, so the heater wouldn’t be running endlessly.”

“Good thinking. Do you suspect spook activity? If they can crush stones, they could probably break windows.”

“It’s possible, I guess.”

Together, they had the groceries put away in no time, and were halfway through second cups of coffee, when Tuck padded into the kitchen. He still looked a bit groggy, but he was mostly awake. He refilled his own cup, and joined them.

“It looks like I may have to do the plywood, after all,” he remarked. “They’re expecting temperatures in the high twenties, tonight.”

“I’m sorry, Tuck.”

“Ah… It won’t take an hour to go, get it done, and get home.”

“How’s your head?”

“All better,” he smiled, and rapped his knuckles against it.

“Good,” Toni interjected. “Now, will the two of you please exchange keys?”

“Toni, you’re starting to sound just like someone’s mama,” Tuck teased, as he produced Will’s spare key.

“Starting to look like it, too,” Toni observed her small baby bump. “It’s a good thing tonight is the last show. I don’t know how much longer I could get into at least one of those costumes.”

“The bustier?” Lisa hazarded.

“That’s the one. I’m afraid of squashing Junior, as it is. They may have to grease me up to get me into it, tonight.” She waited a second, then pointed her index finger at Lisa, then at Tuck.

“Oh, right.” Lisa reached for her handbag on the back of her chair, and found the key in its little envelope, which she handed to Tuck, in exchange for his.

“Thank you!” Toni chuckled.

Tuck drained his cup, and rose to rinse it, in the sink.

“You’re not going now, are you?” Lisa frowned.

“Not just yet. I think I’m going to put the horses up, a little early. I noticed them starting to cluster at the barn gate, when I got up.”

“It is miserable weather.” Lisa rose, likewise.

When they had finished drying, grooming, and blanketing horses, Tuck sent Lisa back into the house, promising to return by dinner. He had everything he needed, for the job except, of course, the ladder. The ladder was in Lisa’s house, in her bedroom. He would have to climb through a broken window, to get it. Those were details he figured Lisa didn’t need to know.