Amateur Hour

Lisa paced, in a short path, frantic. Where had he gone? To get Tuck’s gun out of the locked compartment in the Jeep, maybe? No. No—that didn’t make any sense. Too many places for her to hide, down here. Dear God! He had her phone! She couldn’t call for help. Maybe she could climb out, though… There were plenty of things down here to stack up, for a makeshift ladder. If he had simply gone away, that might be an option sooner rather than later. Would he have just left his own bones lying around in trash bags, though? He was mad, but was he that mad?

She heard footsteps approaching; short, almost prissy strides. Good Lord— he didn’t even walk like Tuck.

“Are you still there, my dear?” he drawled, then cackled.

Lisa held her tongue. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“I do like the way Tucker thinks,” Noah continued. “This cellar should indeed be nailed shut, and forgotten about, like a proper oubliette. Have you anything more to contribute to the conversation, Lisa? Another withering smart remark, perhaps?”

“Just one. If you want to kill me, why don’t you come down here and do it, like a man? Tucker would, if he wanted me dead. No one will ever believe you are him, Noah. No one.”

“I suppose we’ll see about that. Or, I will, anyway. When your little light runs out of power, Lisa, you won’t see another thing. Ever. I would have killed you, outright, save for that little pearl pin, of yours. Margaret must have told you I wouldn’t be able to touch you, while you were wearing it. That’s true. It’s cursed—and you’re cursed. You’ll die as I did.”

“I don’t think so. I may die, but not as you did.”

“Oh, I think the experience will be similar enough. Goodbye, Lisa.”

Noah disappeared. Lisa heard the dragging sound of the door being brought closer. There was a jarring thud, and darkness. Seconds later, she heard hammering and, incredibly, singing.

“Southern men the thunders mutter!
Northern flags in South winds flutter!
To arms! To arms! To arms, in Dixie!
Send them back your fierce defiance!
Stamp upon the cursed alliance!
To arms! To arms! To arms, in Dixie!

Advance the flag of Dixie! Hurrah! Hurrah!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie!” Noah sang lustily, to the tune of ‘Dixie’.

Lisa gritted her teeth, holding in the screams that threatened. He was insane. She refused to go insane, with him.

“In Dixie’s land we take our stand, and live or die for Dixie!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie”

Fear no danger! Shun no labor!
Lift up rifle, pike, and saber!
To arms! To arms! To arms, in Dixie!
Shoulder pressing close to shoulder
Let the odds make each heart bolder!
To arms! To arms! To arms, in Dixie!”

“Advance the flag of Dixie! Hurrah! Hurrah!
In Dixie’s land we take our stand, and live or die for Dixie!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie!”

Would it never end? She clapped her hands over her ears, and sank to the floor, trying not to moan, and praying there wasn’t another verse. There was, of course.

“Swear upon your country’s altar
Never to submit or falter–
To arms! To arms! To arms, in Dixie!
Till the spoilers are defeated
Till the Lord’s work is completed!
To arms! To arms! To arms, in Dixie!”

“Advance the flag of Dixie! Hurrah! Hurrah!
In Dixie’s land we take our stand, and live or die for Dixie!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie!”

The hammering ceased, but the song went on, as Noah danced up and down on the cellar cover.

“In Dixie’s land we take our stand, and live or die for Dixie!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie!
To arms! To arms! And conquer peace for Dixie!”

Then, she was alone.

***************************************

Noah was tired, when he got back to Tuck’s house. The burial of his own skeletal remains had taken a bit of a physical toll, because it hadn’t occurred to him to load the box—the DOG box— into Tuck’s car to drive it around to the gravesite. Like a fool, he had lugged the thing all the way to the back of the cemetery, to bury it in the hole that Tucker had obligingly dug, several days ago.

He had considered not bothering, until he realized that someone might check Lisa’s house, to see if she were there. Two bags of bones in the bedroom would have appeared suspicious, to say the least.

When confronted with the prospect of driving the Jeep, Noah had been at a loss, at first. He had paid more attention to Tucker’s conversations and to landmarks on various trips, than to the mechanics of operating the vehicle. When he attempted to search Tuck’s mind for information to fill in the gaps, he’d met with resistance.

It turned out to be less complicated than he thought, but the drive was harrowing, nevertheless. Tucker kept trying to sabotage the process; braking, suddenly; wrenching the wheel to the right; pressing and holding a button in the center of the wheel, which produced a bloodcurdling noise. At the driveway to his home, he even attempted to accelerate past it.

He was still worried about Toni, Noah supposed. Noah had no intention of harming Toni, though Tucker refused to believe that. Lisa had been the problem. With a bit of tying up of loose ends, that would cease to be the case.

It was a shame, in a way. Lisa wasn’t unattractive, to look at. He wouldn’t have been entirely averse to enjoying her, in bed. Noah hadn’t been able to manipulate Tucker into availing himself, and consequently both of them, of that pleasure. Tucker had ‘principles’. Noah grinned wryly at the thought, and shook his head, before opening the car door.

Affecting longer strides than were comfortable for him, he crossed the yard and climbed the steps onto the porch. Maybe it was the stride that had set the dog off, the first time he had encountered her. It couldn’t have been his scent.

Fortunately, he had paid attention to Tucker’s keys, and didn’t have to rely on his cooperation to find the one that fitted the front door.

“Where’s Lisa, Pa?” Will asked, coming up the steps behind him.

“She decided to stay.” Noah replied, turning the knob, as Will stepped onto the porch.

“To stay? In the rectory? Why?” Will followed him into the house, wearing a perplexed face.

“We argued, and she’s throwing a tantrum. I imagine it’ll be over, by morning.”

They both hung up their outdoor things, and joined Toni, out in the kitchen.

“Where’s Lisa?” she asked immediately. She was sautéing onions for gravy, with the radio at low volume.

“Hi, Dad! Glad you made it back in time, for supper. How did everything go?” Noah asked, with a look of annoyance, for Tucker’s daughter.

“Where’s Lisa?” Toni repeated, as though unused to Tuck directing sarcasm at her. Maybe she wasn’t, Noah reflected.

“She’s at her own house, where we both agree she belongs,” he replied, snagging a beer from the refrigerator.

“No one belongs there, Pa—not in the shape it’s in, right now. I hope you at least helped her get her bed back down, off the wall.”

“She got it leaned up there. She can get it back down. Leave it alone, William.”

Will frowned deeply, and Noah caught him exchanging a glance with his wife. Her gaze was startled; his, warning.

“Well, I should give her a call, anyway,” Will said. “It’s class night, at the church.”

“Suit yourself,” Noah shrugged, and sipped at his beer. He wasn’t concerned, as he had pitched Lisa’s phone out of the Jeep’s window, about halfway between her house and his. “Just don’t be surprised when she doesn’t answer. She’s probably well into her pout, by now.”

Willard ‘Will’ Caine dialed the number. The phone rang four times before being answered by an automated voicemail. He left a short message, reminding Lisa of their scheduled class, said that he’d call back in a while, then hung up.

************************************

You have to breathe, and keep your shit together, Lisa told herself. It felt hard to breathe. She knew the mask wasn’t smothering her, but it felt like it was—just as she knew the absolute darkness wasn’t crushing her but only felt that way.

The floor was hard and cold beneath her. The air was cold, around her, and so still that she could hear her own heartbeat. She struggled to think.

There was no way on earth that Noah would be able to pass himself off as Tuck for as long as it would take her to starve, down here. Toni and Will were both too bright for that. They both knew Tuck too well. She could only pray that they would have the sense to avoid confronting him.

How long would it be, before one or both of them came to check on her? Would they even do that? Under normal circumstances, she was sure one of them would. Hadn’t she signed a paper agreeing not to go incommunicado, in the event of a falling out with any of them? She had. An unwilling smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, at the memory. But, there was no telling what Noah had told them.

It could be anything. That she had been so exhausted that he had taken her back to the motel, and dropped her off; that she had been called away on a family emergency, in Florida; that she had decided to pack her belongings and leave town, giving up on her life here… Anything, but that she was dead, of course. Would they buy it? Maybe, in the short run.

The family emergency story was the one she would go with, if she were Noah. It was the most plausible, and would allow the longest delay of questions. Lisa squeezed her eyes shut, and sent up another prayer that Noah hadn’t thought of that one. If he had, she’d surely die of thirst, before she was found. Unless the cold killed her, first.

She got to her feet, steadying herself against a support post, and turned on her light. Maybe there were old blankets or clothing in some of the boxes she’d seen near where Noah’s cedar chest had been. It was worth a look, and it might distract her from panic that she felt building inside.

********************************

“You about ready to go back to the motel, Pa?” Will asked, after the dinner dishes had been cleared.

Tuck, or the person pretending to be him, appeared startled by the question, for an instant. Will continued to smile at him blandly. “I’ll run you over there, since Lisa isn’t here, to drive you both.”

“Hmph… I hadn’t thought of that. I don’t know if there’s any real need of it, though. I did bury him, after all.”

“We can get your things, then. If we do it early enough, there will still be time to pick Lisa up for class, though it would be cutting it close.”

“Were you able to get ahold of her, on the phone?”

“No, but I figure she might answer her door, if I knock.”

“All right.”

Will thought he could see resignation in the other man’s eyes, though his tone had been equable. In fact, the other man— surely it was Noah– had maintained a peaceable demeanor throughout the meal. It had been an uneasy affair, and Lisa had been missed. Toni had been hard pressed not to steal glances at her empty chair.

********************

Neither man said much, during the drive, and only Will spared a look at Lisa’s place, when they passed it. It was dark, now, and there were no lights to be seen at any of the windows.

The creature inhabiting his father-in-law’s body looked askance at Will, when he passed the entrance to the motel, and pressed his foot down on the accelerator.

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.

“It’s a nice evening for a ride. I haven’t been out this way, in quite a while.”

“Ride?” It sounded like a yelp.

“Yep. A nice, long ride.”

“What about Lisa, and your class?” Noah was becoming nervous now—almost agitated.

Will found this satisfying, but he needed to get farther down the road, before agitation could become action. He sped up.

“Judging from the lack of lights at her place, Lisa doesn’t seem to be home.”

The figure beside him fell silent, a mile passed; two.

“Slow down, Jethro. If you get pulled over I won’t be able to tell you anything, and you won’t be able to help her.”

Will looked at him, and took his foot off the gas. He spotted an empty liquor store parking lot, and pulled in.

“I knew you’d get it, when I got him to believe that your name was William,” Tuck said, with a sigh.

“Dead giveaway, after the way you teased Toni for weeks with rat jokes, when we started to date,” Will agreed, with a small smile. “There was no way on earth that you’d forget my name. Is she okay, Pa?”

“She should be. Noah didn’t hurt her. But she’s bound to be cold, hungry, and scared to death. He left her in the cellar, and nailed the hatch down. You’ll need your circular saw, to get her out. I can’t go back, obviously. Dammit to hell!” Tuck slammed the dashboard, with both fists. “I buried the son-of-a-bitch! I buried all of his clothes and belongings. Why didn’t it work?”

The naked despair and fury in Tuck’s face cut Will, to the heart.

“I don’t know. We buried the Judge, too, and he’s still around.”

“He is, but it’s not the same. In some ways, he has moved on.” Tuck raked his hand through his hair. “Noah, though—he’s determined to cling. I tell you Will: it may be that the only way to get rid of him, is to get rid of me.”

“No. And, for the record, saying that again would be a good way to get your jaw broken. Too many people need you. You don’t get to just check out.”

Tuck sighed. “You’re right. That was weak.”

“It’s okay. You’re tired, and mad as hell. I’ll let it go, this time.” Will started the truck again, and put it into gear.

“What’s the plan, then?” Tuck asked.

“I’m going to drop you off, at the motel. I don’t know who you’ll be, when we get there, but if it’s Noah, he can either go up to your room, or freeze his ass off, in the parking lot. Then, I’m going to go home and get my saw.”

“You’ll have to break into the rectory. I locked the door behind me, and I don’t have Lisa’s key.”

“Noah locked the door,” Will corrected him. “Don’t get it twisted, Pa.”

“Right. Because I wouldn’t want to be held accountable, for anything.”

“Oh, you’re responsible for some of it. I can’t imagine what you were thinking, going back there like you did, today. Trying to be a hero, or something?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

They drove some more, in silence. Before long, they hit the outskirts of town, and turned into the motel parking lot.

“You’ll call me, when she’s safely out of that hole, won’t you?” Tuck asked.

“Of course.”

There was a tense pause.

“You want my gun, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir. I do.” It was a hard, bitter thing to admit. Tuck probably hadn’t been serious about getting rid of himself, but if there was even the tiniest chance that it wasn’t just frustration talking, Will knew he’d never forgive himself.

“I don’t think I need it. The locks here are pretty good, and so is security. I’ll get it.”

Will stepped out of the truck, too, and followed him up the stairs. When Tuck scowled at him, he said, “It won’t take any longer for me to take it down than it would, for you.”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake! Are you my nanny, now?”

“Nope. Just don’t feel like twiddling my thumbs, waiting.”

When they stepped into the room, Will pretended not to notice Lisa’s nightshirt, draped across the back of the chair, or her sneakers under the table. He ignored the notepad with her distinctly lefty handwriting, next to the study materials given to her for the baptism class, and he absolutely did not see that both sets of pillows still held head indentations.

Tuck pulled his weapon out of the nightstand drawer, ejected the magazine, racked the slide, then handed the pistol and magazine to Will.

“You’ll have to take my word for it that that’s the only one I brought, unless you want to search.”

“Don’t be an ass, Pa. It’s not becoming.”

“Just go get Lisa. Now.”

“I’m gone,” Will nodded. He turned and left. His coolness broke into urgency, once the door closed behind him, however. He ran down the stairs, and sprinted to the truck. When he was out of sight of Tuck’s room, he floored it.

****************

Will made it home in record time, amazed that he hadn’t gotten a ticket, but for once, there hadn’t been a cop in sight. He spotted Toni, on the front porch, and she jumped up from her rocker, when he got out of the truck.

“In a minute, Babe,” he called to her, as he dashed past, in the direction of the nearest tool shed. Of course, he tried three keys, before he found the right one. Ordinarily, he knew his keys, by heart, and never failed to pull out the right one, the first time. The saw and the extension cords were exactly where they were supposed to be, however. Will seized them, and bolted out of the shed, leaving the door wide open.

When he got back to the front of the house, Toni was climbing into the truck. On the bench seat between her and the driver’s seat were a heavy blanket, a first aid kit, and two thermos bottles. Will flashed her a smile, before putting his saw and the cord in the bed of the truck.

“It worked? You got Dad back?” she asked, as he got in beside her.

“In Technicolor and Surround Sound,” he smiled. “He’s a little rattled, but he’s fine. Noah left Lisa in the cellar, so I hope you have something hot in those bottles.”

There was no question that she was going with him. It was Toni, and it was what she did. He’d have as much success arguing with the wind, when it came to family matters, and he knew it.

“It’s soup, in one and coffee the way… the way she likes it, in the other.”

“She’ll appreciate both. Don’t worry, Hon. It’s been a few hours, but not long enough for her to come to much grief. She wasn’t injured, when Noah…”

“You brought the saw. He sealed the door, didn’t he?”

“The door is just wood, and I have the saw.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it, before bringing it to his lips.

“I brought some water, too,” Toni informed him, in a steadier voice. She indicated the small soft-sided cooler that he could barely see in the floorboard at her feet.

“I’ll never perform a rescue without you, Babe.”

“You couldn’t,” she teased. “Not a first class rescue, anyway.”

*****************

The first cardboard box Lisa investigated turned out to be full of worse-for-wear cassette tapes. She inspected a couple. Some rector’s notes and sermons. Nothing she had any use for.

The next box contained 45 RPM records from the 1950’s. A cursory look at the labels told her that some were from very popular artists of the era, and others so obscure she wondered if anyone would remember who they had been. The box was heavy, old, and it broke apart, when she dropped it next to the box with the tapes.

Box number three had baby clothes in it. Lisa had to wonder who would leave baby clothes behind. Her mother still had the receiving blankets, one pink and one blue, that she and Liam had come home from the hospital swaddled in. She hadn’t kept all of their clothes, but she still had things that hadn’t been passed on to younger cousins. There was a baby blanket, in the box. It wasn’t much, but it had potential as a shawl. Lisa set that to one side, and discarded the rest of the things.

The next box was filled with ancient copies of a children’s magazine, half of them shredded by rats, now long dead. As were the children these had belonged to, probably. This thought gave her a shudder. The remaining copies were yellowed and mildewed. Lisa couldn’t smell anything, through her mask, but her memory supplied her with the scent. Imagination did the rest, and she sneezed wetly, three times.

“Great,” she muttered, as her eyes started to water.

Another box held things that could only be classified as miscellaneous, and old. Some looked like small kitchen implements. Others were toys. She did recognize the wooden yo-yo, a tin penny whistle, and a carpet beater. Again, though, none of these things were anything she could use, and her flashlight was beginning to dim, a little.

Rats had gotten into the next box, as well, but it had been more of a challenge for them. The box was made of tin and only small rats would have been able to enter through the holes in it. Lisa gazed at the contents in awe. It was a box of manuscripts. Some pages were loose, and had been nibbled by rodents and insects. Others, however, were folded into leather portfolios that looked relatively undamaged. She knew she had to have these— the bibliophile in her couldn’t imagine letting them go.

“On the off chance that you even survive,” she mocked herself. Her mouth was dry, and her voice was getting hoarse. Still, she hefted the heavy box, and carried it to where the ladder used to be, in better days.

The last box was rectangular, wooden, and oddly constructed, with external iron rings; two on each long side. It took Lisa a moment to realize that these were for poles to be inserted in order to carry it. It was the heaviest of all of the boxes, and furnished with a heavy iron lock similar to the one that had held Noah’s box closed.

Her light was beginning to flicker. She snatched up the baby blanket, and went back to the place where she had put the tin box, to keep it company. The blanket didn’t make for much of a shawl, but it was better than nothing. Not knowing what else to do, now, she settled onto the floor again, with her back against a support pillar to wait. She turned off her light, with a pang, knowing that she might need it, later.

In the dark, her stomach growled, but the thirst bothered her more. Even the cold wasn’t so bad, after her exercise, with the boxes. She licked her dry lips, and leaned her head back, closing her eyes. Before long, she began to doze.