Amateur Hour

Liam

“You don’t look enthused,” he remarked, as Janice ended her conversation, with Hannah. “Aren’t you pleased that Nina is back home, safe and sound?”

“Of course, I am. What kind of a question is that?”

Liam couldn’t see her scowl, with his eyes on the curving rise and fall of the two lane ahead of him, but he could feel it.

“A badly put one, evidently.”

“Damn straight. I couldn’t be happier, that she’s home. Is it all right with you, that I’m not really looking forward to another dose of Ted, today?”

It seemed wiser, to keep his mouth shut, on this point, so he didn’t answer, right away.

“We could beg off,” he suggested, after a moment. “You could visit Nina, tomorrow.”

“I want to see her. I’m just not in the mood for you and Ted, in the same room. It’s like… it’s like drowning in testosterone and passive aggression.”

“I see.” He didn’t, really. For once, he and Ted had parted, on good terms, the last time they spoke. “Would you rather I developed a sudden migraine, or some other something that made me unable to attend?” He offered the idea lightly, trying to be gentle.

“That wouldn’t be fair to you, and it would look terrible.”

“Then, what do you want, Jan? You haven’t liked me, all afternoon. You muttered something, when I went out to talk to Tuck, and look at the boat. Then, you rolled your eyes, when I walked out onto the porch, to chat with Will. I’ve tried to keep the ‘testosterone’ away from you, but you’re still grouchy and pissed off.”

“I’m pissed off, because you’re in, over your head, Liam, and you’re only getting in, deeper.”

“Oh, why don’t you just put me in a dress, Jan?” he exploded. Jan’s nerves were nearly played out, and he knew it, but her constant insistence that he couldn’t take care of himself was getting to be annoying.

“And, there it is. Any hint that you should act like you have common sense, is equal to emasculation, and I’m the one, holding the knife. Thanks, Liam.”

“You’re welcome! Women only admire balls, when they’re on other women.” He smirked, bitterly, as he said it. It was a double punch, as Jan hated generalizations. This was largely due to the fact that she was sometimes forced to use them, in her field.

“You’ve always been man enough, for me. If you’re not man enough, for you, that’s your problem. Maybe you should get some help,” she shot back.

That one stung, he had to admit. His easygoing nature had saved Liam from a lot of bullying, when he was a kid, but it hadn’t saved him, from himself. He wasn’t a big guy, or a strong one, and he’d always been his own worst critic, because of that.

Somehow, he’d found his social niche, as a quiet but friendly fellow, with a nimble mind that made up for any lack of physical prowess. Enough women had found him attractive, to keep him from feeling desolate, but only Jan had ever treated him like a bona fide sex symbol.

“There’s nothing like living with a psychologist, to make you wonder whether or not you’re crazy,” he retorted.

There would be no winners, in this argument, and he didn’t want to keep battering her, with words, any more than he wanted to receive an equal beating. They rode in silence, for a good twenty minutes, before he spoke again.

“I’m not trying to be a hero, Jan. Really, I’m not. But, Franklin Riley needs help, and so does Guy. Ted could go, instead, I suppose. Do you want me to run the idea, by him? He and Will don’t know each other, but…”

“I don’t know,” Janice sighed. “I’m tired of all of it. You won’t listen to me, so do what you want. It’s what men do,” she added, with a generalization, of her own.

“Nina is back home, because Ted did what he wanted to do. He went and got her. Tell me, with a straight face, that you wouldn’t want your man to do the same, for you.”

Janice remained silent, but she was seething. Liam wasn’t fool enough to think that he’d won the argument, but he had scored a solid point.

*******

Nina

Janice and Liam were at odds. Nina could see it, when they arrived. They were all smiles, and saying the right things — Liam had given her a friendly, but reserved hug, and Janice had embraced her, like a sister. They didn’t exchange dirty looks, with one another. They barely looked at each other, at all. When they addressed each other, they were brief and polite, with none of the teasing that usually passed between them.

And, Janice looked drained. Nina wondered if she had had a falling out with her sister-in-law. Ordinarily, visiting Lisa put her in a cheerful mood. She smiled, now, and laughed, with Hannah and Steph, but she was working at it.

When Nina went out to the kitchen, to get dinner on the table, Janice excused herself, from the others, and followed her.

“I thought I’d offer to help set the table, but I see it’s already done,” she said.

“All done,” Nina agreed. “But, you could ice the glasses, for tea, and set out the butter, if you want. How is your sister, and her family?” Nina often didn’t bother with ‘in-law’ designations.

“They’re good.” Janice chuckled a little, as she lined up the glasses, on the counter. “The current battle is whether or not to go with a wood stove, or a fireplace, for the new addition to the house. Lisa’s team wood stove, so I’m naturally in her camp.”

“Is it a real battle?”

“Just a debate. Lisa will win — she usually does. That roast looks so good! Doesn’t seem right, for you to come home and slave over a meal for seven, though.”

So, it wasn’t an argument with the relatives in Georgia, Nina thought. Something else was amiss.

“I’m so happy to be in my own kitchen, again, making what I want, for dinner,” she said, aloud. “Besides, it’s a roast. You throw everything into a pan, put it in the oven, and it takes care of itself. I just hope it’s not dry or tough. Usually, I use the crockpot, but there wasn’t time, this evening. There will be plenty of gravy, though.”

“It looks perfect. Should I go ahead, and pour the tea?”

“Please, and thank you. I hope Liam likes sweet potatoes. I made enough of them,” she laughed.

“He does,” was Janice’s short, unadorned answer. “Do you serve the vegetables in separate bowls, or all on the platter with the roast?”

“When it’s just the three of us, I put the crock pot on the counter, and let everyone serve themselves, right out of it. Tonight can be a little more festive, though.”

“I’ll dish them up, if you want to concentrate on your gravy,” Janice offered.

“You’re sweet. Thanks, Janice.”

Between them, the meal was ready to serve, in ten minutes. To Nina’s relief, the roast was passable, and her guests seemed to enjoy it. The events of the day were discussed, but lightly, and with humor.

Ted was quite himself, again, laughing at the plethora of sweet potatoes. He didn’t fail to praise Steph with solemnity, yet enough warmth to make the poor girl blush.

Nina was no better, herself, when it came to singing Steph’s praises. As much as she disliked making a modest person uncomfortable, she couldn’t conceal her own admiration and gratitude. Yet, she wondered if Steph’s mild embarrassment made her to want to leave. She kept casting surreptitious glances, at her watch.

“Did you have the chance to listen to the recording you made, Ted?” Steph asked, at one point.

“Not yet. I thought it could wait until after dinner.”

Nina noticed the way Steph’s face started to fall, before she caught herself, and ironed it into a neutral expression.

“I’ll pass, if you don’t mind,” Hannah announced. “I really don’t need to hear that voice, again.”

“Of course, Chatske,” Ted replied. He looked almost relieved.

“I should really see to the dishes,” Sissy put in. “Janice helped get everything on the table, after all, and there’s no need for me to be there.”

Ted smiled, at his cousin. “We have a dishwasher. Nina won’t use it, for three people. Give it a thrill, and run it, why don’t you?”

“You don’t have to twist my arm,” Sissy smiled.

When dinner was over, the five of them, after agreeing to have dessert afterward, filed down the hall to Ted’s study, and closed the door.

“Before we start, Ted, I’m… Well, I’m expecting a phone call,” Steph preempted him, blushing redder than ever. The flush, the borrowed flowery skirt, the white peasant blouse, all combined to make her look both vulnerable, and quite pretty, Nina observed. She would have liked to have painted Steph, at this moment, in her life.

“From Guy?” Ted asked, in a gentle tone. He recognized the look, too.

“He calls me, every evening, around this time, to touch base.”

“Good. Put him on speaker. He might as well hear this, too. We can wait for him. Don’t just stand around like sheep, everyone. Get comfortable.” He demonstrated, by settling into his desk chair, and leaning back.

There was a moment of confusion, when Liam and Steph headed for the same armchair. Steph yielded to him, and sat down on the couch, with Nina and Janice.

They didn’t have to wait long. On the dot of eight thirty, Steph’s phone rang, in her hand. Startled, she fumbled it onto the coffee table, and tapped a button on the screen — the wrong button.

“So, whatcha wearin’ tonight?” Guy’s disembodied voice purred, for all to hear.

“Dammit!” Steph exclaimed, mortified.

“What?” Guy asked.

“You’re on speaker, and I’m not alone.”

“Oh? Who’s there? Should I be jealous?”

Ted laughed, another good one, loudly enough to be heard.

“Stop it!” Nina hissed, at him, smothering her own grin.

“Everyone,” Steph grated, in answer to Guy’s question.

“Ah… Well, hi, everyone.”

“Shouldn’t you keep your voice down, Guy?” Liam asked.

“Nah. I’m in the old wing. No one will hear me. What’s up?”

Ted nodded at Steph, and she explained what she knew of the situation.

“Good work, Steve,” Guy complimented her, at the end. “I’m glad you’re all right, Mrs. Billie,” he added. “You are all right?”

“Fine, thanks to your partner.”

“Yeah, she’s not bad, at what she does.”

The words were faint praise, but Nina could hear the proud smile, behind them.

“You have time to listen to the recording?” Ted asked.

“I have until dawn.”

“It won’t take that long. Everyone ready?”

They all nodded, and he started the playback, which was astonishingly clear, even at high enough volume for Guy to hear it, from the other side of the room.

When it was over, they were all silent.

“So, that’s what a maniacal psychopath sounds like,” Guy observed, breaking it.

Nina, shaken by what she’d heard, gazed at the faces around her. Liam was incredulous, Steph looked disgusted, and Janice seemed to be parsing something, in her mind. Only Ted appeared calm.

“That’s a lie, about Hannah,” Nina asserted.

“Of course, it is,” her husband shrugged. “Or, he could be deluded into thinking it’s the truth. Either way, I’m glad she wasn’t here, to hear it.”

“I’m going to kill him, myself,” Liam growled. “Nobody threatens my sister!”

“No, you’re not!” Janice snapped. “Did you miss the part about his thugs being on standby, in the event of his death? Or, are you just a reckless idiot?”

Nina was appalled. “He’s just upset, Janice. We all are.”

“He’s an idiot!” she insisted, glaring at him, as she spoke.

“Do tell all of us what you got out of it, genius,” Liam favored his wife with a nasty grin.

“I will. He gave you his sales pitch, Ted. The pitch he’s giving to his customers. Socially responsible, highly educated, principled young people,” she paraphrased. “This is what he’s selling the parents, of these kids. It’s the same product, as New Canaan, but, on steroids.”

“That sounds about right,” Ted nodded. “Why would he give me that pitch, though?”

“To ease you into the idea that the end justifies the means. The means must be very dark and very harsh. Did you catch the part about the parents not being ideal?”

“I did, but it seemed like a throwaway comment. Are you thinking that the parents of the ‘select’ students are being… modified, as well?”

“I am, yes. Under the guise of some kind of special training. Expensive special training.”

“Brainwashing? Whole families?” Liam scoffed.

“Yes,” Janice replied, defiantly.

“It fits,” Ted mused. “You said yourself, Liam, that the staff of New Canaan reminded you of a corporate cult. Is it so hard to believe that that could be extended to the parents of certain students? And, incidentally, your wife is a genius.”

“So, what’s to do?” Steph asked. “Guy and I are toast. We can’t infiltrate Ridgeview, itself. They’d see us coming, a mile away.”

“I suppose I’m going to have to take Gordon up, on his offer.”

“Teddy, no!” Nina yelped. “I know you didn’t miss the part about how we have a child, on the way!”

“I didn’t, Sweetheart. I’m so sorry he ruined your surprise, by the way. I didn’t miss it — it’s the very reason I have to do this. Gordon didn’t specifically mention our child, but after the things he did say, I wouldn’t put anything past him.” Ted sighed, before continuing. “It won’t be forever. Gordon has one foot in the grave, already. He’s elderly, and his health is poor —”

“And, he’s as crazy as a outhouse rat,” Guy interrupted.

“You’re not helping, vato.” Steph was scowling at her phone, as if at Guy’s face.

“That, too,” Ted agreed. “It could be symptomatic of something to do with his overall health. All of you have suffered enough. You’ve done your best, for me, and now it’s time for me to return the favor.”

“All I need, is to get out of here,” Guy said. “If that pendejo wants to get at Steph, he’ll have to go through me.”

“Give me a date,” Liam said. “I can have a pickup for you, in an hour and a half, tops.”

“Sweet. Can you do it, tomorrow? Franklin is about ready to come unglued, and I don’t blame him. The guys are already treating him like a dead man walking, in the dorm.”

“We can be there. What’s the best time?”

“Right after lunch, I guess. Franklin and I both have study hall. No one will miss us, right away.”

“I’ll call my friend with the boat, tonight.”

“It’s supposed to storm, tomorrow,” Janice warned.

“Then, we get wet,” Liam replied, rather coldly.

“I’m just letting you know, Liam.”

“Okay. Now, I know.”

“Please, stop it,” Nina begged.

“Sorry,” they chorused, both looking ashamed.

“We’ll meet you at the river, near the graveyard,” Guy said.

*******

Guy

The meeting broke up, shortly after that, for dessert, or something, but Steph agreed to stay behind in the study, to talk to him, privately.

“You never answered my question,” Guy grinned at his phone, picturing her. “Whatcha wearing, tonight?”

“Why is my attire such a fascination, for you?” she demanded, sounding annoyed.

“Someone sounds defensive.”

“If you must know, I’m wearing one of Nina’s skirts and a blouse. She was kind enough to let me wash the bug repellent off, in her shower.”

“You still sound defensive. Must be a really girly skirt.”

“Do you have a point?”

“Nah. I just miss you.” It was the truth. He did.

“That’s the isolation, talking. You’ll see me, tomorrow, if you don’t get eaten by a gator, while you’re climbing into the boat.”

“Tell you what — if a gator doesn’t eat me, we’ll find someplace to eat gator, how’s that?”

“Eww, no. I’ve had it. It was rubbery. Make it crab legs, and we’ll talk.”

“Anything you want, partner. Listen — you think they have any vacancies, at your motel? I’m gonna need to stay under the radar, too, for a while.”

“I’ll book you a room, when I get back. It’ll be after office hours, but they love me, over there.”

“I bet they do,” he chuckled.

“Not enough to refund a deposit, though. So, don’t get eaten, and don’t drown. We have a budget.”

“I’ll do my best, to be fiscally responsible.”

“Please, do.”

“Don’t worry. I swim like a duck, and I’m indigestible. I’m gonna go and tap on Franklin’s door now, and make his night. You drive safe, okay? Eldridge sounds crazy enough to come after you, just to make a point.”

“I plan to take an unusual route, home.”

“Always one step ahead of me. Good. See you, tomorrow, Steve.”

“Good night, Guy.”

“Love you. Good night.”

Guy hung up, before she could respond. Maybe he shouldn’t have said it. Now, she’d be worried that he was thinking he wasn’t going to make it.

He smirked at himself, and shook his head, as he dropped the phone into his shirt. He didn’t really think he was at any more risk, than usual. If he was wrong, about that… at least she’d know.

Taking mental, and somewhat gleeful, leave of every familiar, moldering object he passed, Guy began to make his way back to the dorm. All the while, however, he had the peculiar feeling that he was being followed, and several times, he wheeled around, to look behind himself.

Each time, there was nothing to see. There were only dark corridors behind him, and dim ones, ahead, where the low lighting from the hallways still in use, filtered through the dusty panes of the locked main doors to this wing. His route would carry him nowhere near those.

Instead, he turned down a minor hallway, past an area that held a series of cubicles from the 1960’s. Steph had never seen this part of the wing, and it had always given him the creeps.

He half expected someone to pop up out of the nearest cube, like a malign jack-in-the-box, to… to what? Impede him? Arrest him? To write him a frigging demerit? Who knew?

The thing was, as much as he got a kick out of giving Steph the occasional jump scare, Guy hated them, himself. Slasher movies didn’t unnerve him, because of the gore; it was the ‘boo tactics’, which got him, every time.

It was on an evening, when he decided to face this phobia, that he’d found the old file cabinets, containing ‘dead’ records. There was an entire wall of them, at the back of the area.

They contained student records, staff records, maintenance records, service receipts, invoices — every kind of paper imaginable; most of which, was useless. This whole wing could serve as a monument to organized pack-rats, everywhere.

Guy was particularly pleased by the thought of never having to see this area, again, and he paused, for a moment.

The hand that fell on his arm, nearly transported the soul out of his body, even as he grabbed the wrist attached to it, spun, wrenched the elbow into the bent position, and shoved someone’s body, face first, into the wall.