Amateur Hour

Ted

The bright, hot morning didn’t suit Ted’s internal stormy weather. At nine o’clock, it was already clammy. He turned his car air conditioner on, full blast, to combat the nervous sweat, pooling in his armpits.

Liam made for a quiet passenger, and an unlikely lieutenant, but he had insisted on being a witness, and Janice had backed him, on it. They had passed most of the trip in a silence that was broken only by the radio.

“Too cold?” Ted asked, as Liam drew his own suit coat closer around him.

“It’s fine. Just nerves.”

“While I’m sweating, like a goat. We are not the same,” he intoned, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t know. We’re two men, hunting a reptile.”

“True enough.”

“You think it’ll give Gordon pause, to put a face to someone he’s threatening?”

“No.” Ted shook his head. “If he ever had a conscience, it died, long ago. Maybe the only way you’ll ever understand that, is to see it, for yourself.”

“Cut it out, Ted.” Liam’s tone was weary.

“I only meant that you, like most people, have never seen true evil, in another person. You can’t imagine how sick it made me, to have Nina exposed to him. You’ll see, but I’m not proud to be the one to show you.”

They both lapsed into silence, for several minutes. Ted was so preoccupied, that he missed the turnoff, and had to swing back around. Another car passed them, on the two lane drive, going in the opposite direction. It looked familiar, but Ted couldn’t quite place it.

“What’s he doing here, on a weekday?” Liam mused.

“Who was it?”

“Starkey. Shouldn’t he be at school, terrorizing people?”

“Huh. I thought I’d seen that car, before. Who knows? Maybe God is in a miracle working mood, and Gordon fired him.”

The guard at the gatehouse waved them through, after a minimum of words. Once parked, Ted retrieved his jacket, and his infamous hat, and put them on. Liam buttoned his own light charcoal jacket, and straightened his burgundy tie. The two men regarded each other, in a moment of silent inspection, nodded at each other, then proceeded up the gravel path, to the front steps.

Staunton answered the door, with his usual aplomb, and offered to take Ted’s hat. When Ted declined, he thought he saw just a spark of amusement in the old man’s eye.

“I know the way to the sitting room, Staunton. We don’t need an escort.”

“As you wish, sir,” the butler nodded, and decamped quietly.

“Good Lord,” Liam muttered, looking around.

“Yeah. Pretentious as hell, all of it — including poor old Staunton. The wolf’s den, is this way.” He led Liam out of the huge foyer, through a vast formal living room, and down a wide hallway, to the pocket doors of the sitting room. He rapped twice. There was no acknowledgment, from within. The two men exchanged a frown, and Ted knocked three times, more loudly. Silence.

“Maybe he’s listening to Mack the Knife, through solid gold ear pods,” Liam joked.

Ted grunted, with mild amusement, and reached for the handle. Sliding the door open, he stepped in, with Liam at his back. What he saw brought him up so short, that his companion bumped into him.

“Sorry,” Liam began, then bit off the rest of what he might have said, when he saw Gordon’s body, in the middle of the floor.

He was lying face up, eyes wide and bulging. His clothing was askew, as though there had been a struggle, but there was no blood on him, or around him. Nothing in the room was broken, but several things were overturned, and had fallen to the carpeted floor.

“Call an ambulance,” Ted said, moving toward his father’s lifeless body.

“What’s the address?”

“Just call. I’ll give it, when they ask.”

“Should you touch him?” Liam asked. He already had his phone out, and was dialing.

“CPR seems like a good idea, doesn’t it?” Ted snapped, even as he knelt, and tilted Gordon’s head back.

Liam didn’t answer, because he was talking to the 911 operator. When the time came to give the address, Ted spoke it crisply, once, then began his chest compressions.

Everything faded, at that point, for him, except the necessity of concentrating on his patient. There was no time to listen to Liam’s ensuing conversation with the dispatcher (occasionally frustrated), or his explanations to Staunton, who had wandered back onto the scene, with extra refreshments, which the master of the house had atypically not ordered, in a timely fashion.

There was no time to consider the irony of the effort spent trying to revive the man he despised. He barely noticed when the day nurse arrived with his equipment, and fitted a mask with a bag, over Gordon’s mouth, to assist with the breaths.

At one point, Ted switched places with Jack, the nurse, to catch his own breath. Time both dragged, and passed in a blur. His arms ached, his knees hurt, and he had pulled something, in his back.

When the paramedics finally arrived, they examined Gordon, shook their heads, and draped a sheet over his body. By then, the entire household had assembled, in the room, keeping a cautious distance from the activity. Ted felt numb, as he sank back against the sofa, but he did notice, for all the staff’s anxiety, there wasn’t a tear shed, for the old man.

Staunton, alone, wasn’t anxious. On the contrary, he had the presence of mind to furnish Ted, Jack, and even Liam with bottles of cold water, while they all waited for the Sheriff to arrive.

Liam sat down next to him, on the floor.

“I don’t know what to say,” he murmured.

“What is there, to say?” Ted replied. “Thanks, for dealing with the paramedics.”

“That was nothing. You fought hard, for him.”

It was not a question as to why. Ted merely nodded. He appreciated Liam’s good sense, in saving the actual question, for later — not that he could have answered it, now, in any case. Nothing more was said, for several minutes.

Ted felt his nerves beginning to settle, somewhat, and the kink in his back was also beginning to let up.

“You should call Janice, and let her know about this. Ask her to tell Nina, if you would,” he said.

“We’re probably going to be here, for a while,” Liam agreed. He got up, and walked to the double doors, leading outside, to make his call.

Ted remained, where he was, staring at the sheet-covered body. He supposed he was waiting for some sort of reaction to hit him, but he couldn’t even feel concern, right now, for the threats Gordon had placed over his head. He was aware only of being weary.

In time, he began to notice the glances he was drawing, from the group, standing in a far corner of the room. Some were curious, but some were a little suspicious, as well. Jack seemed to be holding forth, sotto voce. What was he saying? Ted doubted it was anything complimentary. More than likely, he was sowing seeds of doubt.

It hardly mattered. Staunton knew there wouldn’t have been enough time, for Ted to have overpowered and killed Gordon, in such a way — not even with Liam’s help. At least, he hoped that was true.

Staunton approached him, with a fresh bottle of water, even as Ted drained his first. The man was efficient, whatever else might be said of him.

“I could bring you something stronger, sir, if you wish,” he offered, collecting the empty.

“Maybe later, Staunton. It would probably be better if I didn’t smell of alcohol, when the deputies get here.”

“Indeed, sir,” he agreed. He bent to collect Liam’s bottle, still half full, as well, and replaced it with another cold one.

Yes, a very efficient fellow, was Staunton, with a blank face to rival Ted’s own.

“I took the liberty of retrieving your hat, and placing it on the tree near the front door,” Staunton continued.

“Thank you. I’d forgotten about it.”

“Would you care for coffee, sir?”

“The water is fine, thanks.”

The exchange was becoming bizarre, given that it was taking place before a corpse. Staunton seemed to realize it, too, and he was about to step away, when an idea occurred to Ted.

“Staunton?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Could you clear the staff out of here, please? Except for the nurse. I’m sure the deputies will want to speak to him, right away. No one should leave the premises, but they shouldn’t be hanging around the scene, either.”

“Of course, sir.” He didn’t appear displeased with being given a direction.

Ted watched, out the corner of his eye, as Staunton cleared the room of everyone, but Jack. Just like that, he had given an order, and it had been obeyed. It was a peculiar feeling. He couldn’t help but be gratified by the look of unease, on Jack’s face, as he took a seat in an armchair, at some distance, from Ted.

He had to fight a smirk. An impostor he might be — a faux heir apparent — but Jack didn’t seem to know that. Ted had heard chapter and verse of everything the boor had said to Nina, while she was held, in this house. A bit of petty revenge, even secondhand, would amuse her, he was sure.

By the time Liam returned, Ted had risen to sit on the sofa he’d been leaning against. He handed Liam the fresh bottle of water, and the other man sat down, next to him.

“Janice said she’d call Nina, right away, and let her know we’d be later that we thought, getting home. Where did everyone go?”

“I asked Staunton to clear them out, before they could spread out more, and trample the crime scene.”

“Good thinking. You suppose it was Starkey?”

“Unless it was Staunton,” Ted smiled, without much humor. “Sorry,” he added, when Liam recoiled a bit. “It must have been. If Gordon told him he was being cut out of the will, that would certainly have been motive.”

“Would Gordon have been that… incautious?”

“Maybe. He knew I was coming, to capitulate. He thought he’d won.”

“I’ve got to tell you, it’s more than a little creepy, sitting here, with him, just there.” Liam nodded toward the body.

Before Ted could answer, the first deputies appeared at the sliding door. The occupants of the room were all ushered out, separated, questioned, had their statements recorded, and, in time, allowed to leave the scene.

To his immense relief, Ted was not considered a suspect, or even a person of interest, though he was advised not to travel. Liam received a similar warning.

*******

Janice

“How did she take it?” Janice asked.

Nina slid the glass door to the patio closed, behind her.

“Quietly,” she said, “but she sounded okay. A little shocked, like we all are.” She came to sit next to her friend, and put her phone on the coffee table. “I don’t think she’s going to dance on his grave, but I don’t think she’s going to lose a lot of sleep, either.”

“You and Ted didn’t tell her about Gordon’s threats, when you sent her off, with Sissy?”

Nina shook her head. “No. Ted made an excuse about remodeling my old room, to turn it into a nursery, for the baby. He had Hannah convinced that the noise and the paint fumes might make it a good time for her to take a vacation and visit some of her friends, down south.”

“That was your idea, wasn’t it?”

“Why would you think that?” Nina feigned innocence, but her hint of a smile betrayed her.

“Because no woman is going to leave her husband in sole charge of setting up and decorating a nursery. It gave you a reason to stay behind.”

Nina neither confirmed, nor did she deny.

“I’d better put on some more coffee. How are you doing?” She indicated Janice’s cup.

“Still have about half a cup left.”

Nina rose, and Janice followed her into the kitchen.

“I’m glad you came to sit with me, until Ted gets home. I’d be biting my nails to the quick,” Nina said, running fresh water into the pot.

“I know what you mean. Waiting isn’t something I’m good at, either, even though I know it’s going to be all right, with the police. Thank goodness there’s a gate guard, and a butler, to certify the timeline. There’s also the 911 dispatcher, so, it’s just a matter of giving statements.”

She was repeating herself, for about the third time, since she’d arrived, but Nina didn’t seem to mind. It brought them both comfort.

“It’ll be fine,” Nina agreed, scooping coffee into the basket. “It’s just that it’s been so long, since Liam called…”

“I’m sure they’re on their way home.”

Even as she spoke, they heard the front door open. Nina pressed the start button on the coffee maker, before flying out to the living room. Janice was close enough on her heels to see her fling herself into Ted’s arms.

“It’s all right, Sweetheart,” he said. He gave Janice a grateful look, over Nina’s shoulder. “Thanks for keeping her company, Janice.”

“We’ve been keeping each other steady,” she said. “Are you all right?” she asked Liam, as she hugged him.

“I’m fine. It was a nasty scene, but that’s all.”

“How nasty?”

“He was strangled, from the looks of it. Of course, nothing’s official, until the coroner rules.”

“Strangled,” Ted confirmed. “There’s no way either of us could have done it — takes too much time. We’re just witnesses, after the fact.” He kissed Nina’s forehead, and released her.

“Thank God!” Nina exclaimed. She took Ted’s hand, and led him to the love seat, leaving the larger sofa for Liam and Janice. “We just put on some coffee —”

“Jan and I will get it, when it’s ready,” Liam volunteered.

Janice smiled, at the other two, and followed her husband to the kitchen.

“What’s up?” she asked him, when they were alone.

“Nothing, really. I just thought Ted could use a moment or two, to decompress. He tried to revive the old bastard, you know.”

“You told me,” Janice nodded, getting the carton on creamer, out of the refrigerator, while Liam got two cups out of the cupboard.

“He’s more shaken up, than he lets on. You know, he thought he was going to introduce me to pure evil, in shoe leather. Instead, he introduced me, to the opposite.”

“Liam — what a nice thing to say!”

“I can admit it. I misjudged the nobility, in the guy. I was too stunned to move, at first, but Ted didn’t hesitate.”

Janice was so impressed with this newfound admiration, on Liam’s part, that she didn’t know how to respond, so she said nothing, as she poured the coffee into the cups. Liam added a dollop of creamer, to each.

“I’ll take them,” he offered.

“Okay. I’m going to take the whole pot out. We’ll drink it up, fast enough.” She set it on a tray, with the creamer and sugar, and followed him back to the living room.

“Thanks, man,” Ted said, accepting his cup, from Liam. “What a day, huh?”

“Hell of day,” Liam agreed, as he and Janice sat down.

“So, what now?” Janice asked.

“In the immediate now, Liam and I have been asked to stick around, in case we’re needed, for more information. As for Gordon’s master plan to burn us all, if I didn’t surrender… I don’t know. Liam saw my cousin, heading the other way, as we were driving in.”

Janice slopped coffee on the front of her blouse, in her surprise. “Starkey? I was able to slip out of school, when you called, Liam, because he wasn’t there. That’s where he was?”

“Guess so. You’ve just confirmed that, as far as I’m concerned.”

“Could he have done it?” Nina asked. “I’ve never met him.”

“He’s the same height, as Gordon,” Ted replied. “Not in terrific shape, but healthier and younger, heavier. I’d say it’s physically possible.”

“Gordon didn’t go down, without a fight,” Liam added. “They’d been having coffee, or tea. Both cups and saucers were on the floor, along with everything else, on the table. One chair was pushed way back, and the other was overturned. I suppose no one heard, because of the carpet. The padding is pretty thick.”

“If Starkey’s on the run, that can only be a good thing, right?” Janice asked. “He’d be crazy, to set Gordon’s dogs on anyone, and risk being discovered, himself.”

“I thought mental health people didn’t like the word, ‘crazy’,” Ted grinned.

“In this case, it fits. Along with cracked, warped, nuts, and loony,” Janice retorted. “My personal favorite is: ‘barking mad’. That’s applicable, too.”

Ted laughed, and Nina pinched him. “Be nice,” she admonished.

“The rub is, he’s all of those things, to begin with, to march into someone else’s well staffed home, and murder him,” Liam observed.

“I doubt he’s lost all sense of self-preservation. He drove calmly away from the house, not drawing any particular attention. If he did it, he’ll be focused on disappearing, right now.”

“With any luck, the cops will get to him, first. They know he was the last one, to see Gordon, alive.” Liam leaned back against the sofa, looking beat.

“No doubt the police will be all over his house, maybe New Canaan, too, by now. You know, my instinct is to call Steph and Guy. I can’t help but think they might have some techniques the cops don’t.”

“Couldn’t hurt,” Liam agreed. “Only…”

“What?”

“This is essentially a new case, though it’s related to the original. You remember they can’t take any payment, right? They aren’t licensed for business, yet.”

Ted sighed. “I’d forgotten,” he admitted. “I sure as hell don’t want them to do any more work, for free. I never wanted that, to start with.”

“So, buy them desks and office chairs. Printers, paper, pens; buy them paper clips. You don’t have to pay them, in actual money, you know,” Nina said.

“Ah — That’s my Nina, thinking outside the box. You’re right, Sweetheart — they probably need everything.”