Amateur Hour

This morning, I was contacted, by a New York Times Best Selling Author! She messaged me, directly, on X! Naturally, I was flattered, and thrilled.

Best Selling Author: “Hello, author Cindy. Thought you’re doing good, today?”

Aww… so kind of her to think of me! I followed her, only yesterday, after all. Yet, a rather peculiar turn of phrase, for an American writer…

Me: “Reasonably well, for having just woken up. How are you?”

A restrained response, but you guys know how shy I am. Especially when I’m in the Presence of Greatness.

Best Selling Author: “That’s good. I am doing good here, thanks.

What aspect of book do you write?”

So kind of her, to be interested in my work! I responded, thus, with great cheer and enthusiasm:

Me: “All aspects. The title, the beginning, the middle, the end, the synopsis, the blurb, etc.”

Not to toot my own horn, but I really do handle all these challenging “aspects”, myself.

Best Selling Author: That’s good. How do you connect with your potential readers and audiences?

This left me scratching my head. Readers? Audiences? Aren’t they the same thing, to a writer? I was a bit confused, so I went for a joke.

Me: “When the weather is clear, and the wind is right, I send up smoke signals.”

Now, I know my humor isn’t on the level of Mark Twain, or even Erma Bombeck, but I hoped she’d find me witty. Evidently not…

Best Selling Author: “What genres of book do you write?”

Well — Golly, Best Selling Author, I thought. My blog is linked, in my bio. I took the time to look you up. Your very nice author website mentions your accounts on Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, Bookbub, and TikTok. No mention of your X account, however…

Me: “Right now, I’m deeply involved in a series, involving a manatee starship captain.”

Don’t ask me why I always default to space opera, when I’m being absurd. I really don’t know. But, I had a feeling Best Selling Author wasn’t paying attention, anyway.

Best Selling Author: “Great. How many books do you have published on Amazon?”

Nope. Not paying attention.

Me: “Seventy-six. (A tiny exaggeration.) You?”

Best Selling Author: “I have more than 90 books published so far and still counting more.”

A reciprocal exaggeration. This author has 40 published works.

Me: “That’s impressive! You must be really old!”

A long pause ensued, then…

Me: “What genres of book do you write?”

BSA: “I write contemporary romance. What about you?”

This convo was getting a bit circular, and Best Selling Author was starting to lose her flavor, as a chew toy.

I regretfully decided to unsubscribe to the Best Selling Author, at this point, and to block her, as well. I’m not sure, but I think she might have been a scammer…