Amateur Hour

A Tale of Two Tours

Ted

“I can’t get over the differences,” Ted remarked, as he and Guy, in Guy’s trusty electric cart, cruised away from the school, and into the heart of the City.

“Blows your mind, doesn’t it? The kids have a lot of say, in their school, as long as they follow the rules, and they have access to everything out here. They sweated, to get it.”

“That’s not approval, I hear, is it?”

“I approve of the kids. I haven’t met one, yet, who’s a slacker. They mind their manners, they do their homework, and they treat each other like human beings. Parts of the system seem to work. Parts of it, which is to say the system, as a whole, is broken. What they have to go through, to get here, is torture. What happens to some, is pure evil. You can’t have kids, marked for death, and others teetering on the hairy edge. It’s insanity.” He glanced at Ted. “Preaching to the converted, I know.”

“That’s okay. Get it out of your system.”

“Most of the actual teachers are good. The bad ones are bad, because they aren’t good teachers — not because they’re in on anything. Honestly, Ted, I don’t think it stretches much beyond the Dean herself.”

“And, I just left my wife alone with her.”

“There’s nothing much she can do to Nina but sling rudeness at her.”

“Would you leave St — never mind. Bad example.”

Guy grinned. “All that might be left would be that red tie. Have you heard from Steph, today?” he asked, his smile fading, a bit.

“Not a peep. I get the feeling she’s not happy with me, though.”

“She’s not. Why are you stonewalling her, man? There something you don’t want her to dig up?”

“What if I told you, there is?”

“I’d tell you you’re better off, just telling her, what it is. She’s nothing if not discreet.”

“If I told her, she would be complicit, in it. I won’t put her in that position.”

“You know, if she finds out, on her own, she’ll confront you, and she’ll be in that position, anyway.”

“Drop it, Guy.”

“Okay. But, I’m telling you — right now, she thinks you don’t give a rat’s ass about Jess Greene, and she’s hurt. That’s all I’ll say about it.”

“I care about Jess, more than you can possibly imagine.”

“Here, we are,” Guy changed the subject, pulling onto a lane that led into a park.

Ted felt his upper lip rise, into a snarl of distaste, at the name on the sign. He spotted the columbaria, in the near distance, just off to the rear of the amphitheater. “That them?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t park, just drive across the grass.”

“No, man. I’m parking. The Suburbs kids bust a gut, to keep that grass alive.”

“You’re right. Sorry.”

Guy took the nearest spot to the amphitheater, and they climbed out. The going was easy. A graveled footpath led up to the amphitheater, itself, stopping short of their target. Ted got the feeling that the two-tower structure was intended to pass for some kind of modern sculpture, too featureless to tempt close examination, and the lack of a direct path to it, discouraged that.

“What made Franklin so curious about it?” he asked as they walked across the grass.

“He wasn’t. He nearly ran headlong into it, one night. Long story. Anyway, when he turned on his flashlight, he saw the inscriptions.”

Ted grunted. The inscriptions were exactly what Guy had described, days ago. Nothing to be learned from them — Ted could pair these numbers with names, later. He had that much information at his disposal, at least.

The ashes of eight kids, in a vertical vault. It was such a far cry from his own ‘distinguished’ ancestors, moldering away, in their fancy mausoleum, as to be obscene.

“Whose idea was this?” he murmured. “All display, and no decency.”

“Someone with arrogance, to burn, I guess.”

Ted nodded, and looked around. This park was the particular domain of boys, and he saw them, gathered at tables, lounging, alone. The day was hot, but little pavilions provided some shade.

“Nothing like this, in the girls park, or the unisex parks?”

“Nothing.”

“And what’s down the road, beyond the gate?”

“They call that a soft gate. Kids can come in, from the Suburbs, but only at certain hours, and by a certain time, they have to have checked out, again. The road leads to the Suburbs.”

“Show me.”

“Dude, I’ve never been down there. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Chicken?” It was a light jibe. Ted knew Guy was no such bird.

“I suppose we could have a look. You’re the big boss.”

“And, you can claim duress,” Ted smiled, clapping him on the shoulder.

Guy returned the smile, and they trudged back to the cart.

“Let’s hit one of the food trucks, on the way out. Get some water,” Guy suggested.

This turned out to be a good idea. The reality of the graveled road became more of a notion, the farther they got, from the City area. Gravel became more scarce and dust, more plentiful.

The distance from the soft gate, to the first shack was about a mile and a half. It was walking distance, Ted observed, but not easy walking distance. They passed some boys, returning to camp, singly and in pairs.

All of them looked beat, and hot. Some were sullen, others, dulled. None were quite wretched, however. Ted supposed the additional credits, on their cards, for their day’s work, provided some balm. The pedestrians glanced at the cart, with curiosity, if not suspicion, and Ted was keenly aware of the dust they were kicking up, on the kids

“Slow down a little, Guy. No need to put more grit in their mouths.”

Guy did, nodding.

The shacks were poor, leaning affairs, painted to hell and back, in a dull green shade. All had tin roofs, and tiny front porches. But, at least each had wall unit air conditioning. Pairs of boys sat on their porches, cold drinks in hand, recovering from their labors.

Looking at them, Ted felt ashamed of his earlier suggestion of driving on the grass, in the park. These boys were happier, however, than the walkers had been. They chatted and laughed, some with game boards between them, some with cards.

Group activities were taking place, as well. Guy pointed out what looked, for all the world, like some sort of flea market. Between two shacks, a mini jam session could be seen and heard. The instruments were, for the most part, out of tune, but the boys were enjoying themselves.

On the fringes of the groups were big boys, in the same age group as the rest (some a bit older, perhaps), clad in lightweight desert cammo. They held themselves aloof from the activities, their eyes sharp and watchful, on the other kids.

“Those must be the ‘Goons’ Franklin mentioned,” Guy remarked, in a low voice.

“Why do they look like lifers?” Ted mused.

“Some of them might be.”

“I take it the Outskirts are beyond this little slice of hell?”

“So I hear. You’re not looking to go out there, too?”

Ted shook his head. “I’ve seen enough, for now. Nina’s not such a powerful talker that she can tie Hermann up, for too long. Too bad I can’t talk to a couple of them.”

“Man, you don’t need to. Talk to any of the students at the school. They were them.” Guy’s voice, though still low, was fierce and frustrated.

It was the truth, and it stabbed.

*******

Nina

Ted and Guy were slumped comfortably in a couple of armchairs, in the common area, when Nina’s escort had finally had enough of her questions. Probably a good thing, because Nina was running low, and had little more than observations and remarks left, in her tank.

It did her heart good, to see the men again, and she allowed her shoulders to relax. Dr. Hermann stalked just a bit ahead of her, her eyes intent on Ted, dismissing Guy.

“It’s too bad you didn’t see the school with me, Teddy,” Nina spoke, first, enjoying the act of snatching the option from her haughty companion. “It’s fascinating, and the art teacher is a gem.” He was — Nina had engaged him in conversation, for a good ten minutes, while Dr. Hermann fumed and fretted, at her elbow.

“There’s always tomorrow, Sweetheart. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He tipped her a wink, when Dr. Hermann turned her head to give her a dirty look.

“In the meantime, Mr. Billie, I’m sure you’ll want to discuss the event that was planned for this evening, before the schedule was… interrupted.”

“Ah, that, of course,” Ted bluffed, smoothly. “My father never had the opportunity to get into specifics. I’d appreciate a show and tell. I take it the facilities are off site?”

“Obviously,” the Dean responded. “You’ll want to inspect them?”

“Obviously,” Ted countered, aridly.

Guy rose, when Ted did, like a well trained lackey. Only, he looked to be Ted’s lackey, now, not Dr. Hermann’s. Hermann raked him, with a cold eye, but Guy didn’t seem to notice.

“Do me a favor, Guy, and take Nina and Raven to their quarters, while I tend to Dr. Hermann, here.”

“Happy to.”

Ted approached Nina, and handed her the keys to the rental. “Don’t try to lift anything,” he warned, resting a light hand on her lower abdomen.

“I won’t.”

He leaned in, swiftly, to give her a resounding, impudent kiss. It was part reward and recognition, part cheeky payback for her teasing in the office.

Ted straightened, put his infamous hat on his head, clapped Guy on the shoulder, and left, trailing the poker straight form of Dr. Hermann.

“The man knows how to make an exit, doesn’t he?” Guy grinned at her.

Nina stared at her husband’s back. His posture was casual, and his steps were unhurried.

“He does,” she agreed.

***

In short order Guy had the two suitcases out of the trunk, and into the back of his cart. He’d insisted that Nina wait for him, in the passenger seat, in the shade. Watching him, she felt her customary shyness gather around her.

“How you holding up?” he asked, once they were rolling.

“I need a bath,” she blurted.

Guy chuckled. “Our Dean does have that effect, after prolonged exposure. The toxic just drips off her, and rolls down you, doesn’t it?”

“She’s rude. I don’t like rude.”

“You held her, though, and held her good. I expected her to be waiting for us, tapping her foot. You don’t match the picture Steph painted, of you. She said you were shy.”

“I was playing Janice,” Nina sighed.

“Good choice,” Guy nodded, as if playing other people were the most natural thing, in the world.

“Who have you been playing? I wasn’t sure you were you, at first.”

“Oh, that. I’ve been bulk loading Hawthorne, and Rand. No specific character. What?” he asked, catching her studying him.

“Nothing, sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.”

“Tell me,” he urged, smiling.

“It’s only that I thought you’d be taller.”

Guy’s hearty laugh drove away her fear that she’d been rude, herself.

“So did my parents,” he said, still amused. “My brothers are both six-footers. I’m not the runt, though. That’s my sister. Not as big as a minute, but she’s a firecracker.”

Nina smiled, too, warming to his warmth for his siblings. That much of her picture of him, did fit. Steph made remarks about him that were disparaging, on the surface, but she lit up, when she talked about Guy.

“My partner’s been filling your head with her version of me, hasn’t she?”

The question was so on the nose, that Nina blushed, floundering for an answer.

“I deny everything,” he said. He pulled to a stop, just inside the entry to the teachers’ compound. “What keys did she give you?”

“2102, and 2104.”

“You’re both across from me, then. Ted would probably want you in 2102, directly across. It doesn’t matter — they’re all exactly the same.”

“2102 it is, then.”

“I’ll get your bag up the steps, for you,” he said, setting the cart in motion, again. “Should I leave Ted’s with you? Drop it on his landing? Hold onto it?”

“Probably best, to…” she trailed off.

“I don’t mind carrying it up eight steps, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Best to leave it, with me, then. You don’t need to be playing nanny to his luggage, and he’d probably gripe, if you left it out, in the open, though I don’t think anyone would mess with it, here.”

“No sweat.”

***

Ted

“The primary facility is located just off the road where Amphitheater Park is. Forgive me,” the Dean smiled. “Gordon Eldridge Memorial Park,” she corrected herself.

Ted pasted a small, smug smile on his own kisser, to hide his disgust.

“Your father was a man of vision,” she continued. “I was honored to have had any input into the system at Saguaro Springs, and the camps, as a whole.”

“He relied on you, more than you know,” Ted replied. He had no idea if this was true, but it stroked the dragon’s vanity, and made him to seem complicit.

“Perhaps. He must have liked my ideas. Many were implemented, and he did me the honor of placing me in charge of the operation. But, it was when he diversified, that my job became truly interesting, and rewarding. The vision is his, but the means? Mine, in a large part.”

“I don’t doubt it. Dad,” (the word tasted like hot garbage, in his mouth) “liked to control information. Logistics, he tended to leave, to others. He had a gift, for delegation.”

There were a few moments of blessed silence. Ted didn’t know if he could stand much more lionization of Gordon Eldridge, especially if he had to participate.

They passed the park, on the opposite side of the entrance he’d used with Guy, earlier, and turned down a small, graveled trail that led to a prefab shed, in the middle of nothing. It was the sort of building that people occasionally converted into tiny homes — windowed, new, non threatening.

Some modifications had been made, to the structure. The entrance door was smaller, the size of an ordinary outer door, and the building sat flush with the ground. Any platform appeared to have been buried, in the hardpan. A button had been added to the exterior, that looked like a doorbell. Ted was pretty sure it wasn’t.

He got out of the cart and followed Hermann to the door, which made a slight sucking sound, when she opened it.

“As you can see, it’s airtight.”

Ted leaned, to glance in. The shed had been outfitted with two chairs, a table, and a small bookcase. There was a lamp on the table, and a wastebasket, at the end.

“What keeps them from opening or breaking a window?” This felt like a safe enough question, as this was obviously a trap, of some kind.

“The glass is unbreakable, and the windows are welded. In any case, the process is too fast, for that to be a consideration.”

Hermann closed the door.

“No lock?”

“No knob, on the other side.”

Ted’s stomach did a slow, lazy back flip. He drew a deep breath through his nose, and exhaled, slowly.

“How does it work?”

The Dean motioned him to follow, and they went around, to the back side of the little shed. There, he saw the tank, and the pipes that led from it, into the roof of the building.

“Carbon monoxide. The button outside the door starts the pump motor. Quick, clean, and painless.”

“Suffocation is hardly painless.”

“The subject is sedated. He’s always asleep before he suffocates.” She flashed him a smile. “I’m not a monster, Mr. Billie.”

Ted thought he might vomit, on her Nike Alphflys. Instead, he settled for a hard grin. “No more so, than anyone else involved, I suppose,” he replied. “How do you manage disposal?” He didn’t want to know. He truly didn’t, but it couldn’t be avoided.

“The remains are placed in the Kiln. It’s not an actual kiln, of course — that’s just our name, for it. That sidewalk,” she indicated the one leading from the front of the shed, out to the back, “leads to the crematory. It’s carried there, via a laundry cart. Would you care to see that setup? It’s a bit of a walk, down the sidewalk to where it goes at a hard right angle, behind that dune.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary. Maybe tomorrow, after the… event.”

“Tomorrow?” She looked defrauded, and annoyed.

“Yes, tomorrow,” he replied, firmly. “I’m quite tired, Dr. Hermann. It’s only 4 p.m. here, but back home, it’s 7 p.m. I’m unaccustomed to the heat, here, and I need a meal, and to unwind.”

“As you wish, Mr. Billie.”

“Now, don’t be annoyed, with an old man,” he wheedled, as they climbed back into the cart. “There’s more to the setup than just the devices. The art and craft of it, is in the lure. You’re dealing with some wary specimens, in these kids. How do you induce them to walk all the way out here, after dark?”

“They don’t walk,” Hermann answered, somewhat mollified. “My aide gives them a lift. The lure is an elegant thing,” she said. “It’s built right into the system. I offer social credit, for ‘intake pre-counseling.’ The student is given the opportunity to share insights and experiences with incoming students, from the Suburbs. It’s billed as a new innovation.”

“And, it doesn’t exist.”

“Not even on paper. A note is left for the student to meet with my aide, to discuss the topic. My aide makes an offer of full amendment, and promotion. A clean record. The kids don’t know what the distinction is, between green and yellow status, but by now they’ve inferred, because they are the majority, that a black tie is the goal to which to aspire.”

“Genius. Your idea?”

The Dean nodded, modest as hell.

“So, the bait is irresistible. Transportation provided. What, then?

Hermann sighed a little. “That’s the least elegant part of the plan. The student needs to be ambulatory, right up to the moment he steps into the chamber. It involves a sneak attack, at the threshold, with the sedative, in a syringe, courtesy of my aide. It works well enough, or has, so far. I don’t like the margin, for error.”

“Eight out of eight, isn’t a bad score. You’re aide must be a strapping individual, to pick a dead weight up, and toss it into a laundry cart.”

“Not much larger than Mr. Ramirez, actually, but we manage, between us. I might have to bring on another aide, before long. The last event wrenched my back, a little. I’ve been resistant to that, because of the obvious reasons. Mr. Eldridge wanted the operation kept lean. I should have hired a brawnier crematory operator,” she quipped.

Ted chuckled. He’d never longed so badly to be away from another person.