Amateur Hour

Steph

Christina was easy to spot, it turned out. There was a family resemblance — an unfortunate one. Christina could have been Guy’s tiny twin brother. She had the same square jaw and chin; the same coloring; the same black-brown eyes.

They saw one another, at the same instant. When Christina smiled, the effect transformed her face, making it almost pretty. She hurried toward Steph, and offered a small, warm hand, to be shaken.

“You’re just like your picture,” she observed. “It’s great to meet you, at last, Stephanie. Do you need to pick some things up, before we hit the road?”

Steph’s basket was still empty. She had only just arrived, herself.

“I wanted a throw of some kind, and maybe a book and some snacks, if I’m taking a bus.”

“You’ll want one of those key-chain alarms, too. Seriously. If you’re seated in the back of the bus, or using the toilet, and encounter some deviant, that’s a good way to get rid of him.”

“What’s wrong with breaking his nose?”

Christina laughed, and steered her toward the aisle where the plush throw blankets were displayed. “You sound like my brother. You don’t need a sledgehammer, to kill a mosquito.”

“No. I guess I’m just on edge. I really want to get out of town.” Steph grabbed the first lightweight throw she saw, and Christina relieved her of it, tucking it under her own arm.

“Is that the only bag you have?” she asked, looking at Steph’s cross body bag.

“I left my gym bag at the counter. They didn’t mind tucking it away, for me. It has my toiletries, and enough clothing for a few days. I’d rather not linger in the final bus station, waiting for a suitcase.”

“You’ve been on the lam before.”

“More often than I care to admit. Maybe I’ll get the chance to tell you about it, one day.”

They had stopped in front of the cooler, where Steph pulled out a few bottles of water, to add to her basket. Moving on, they reached the aisle where the books were kept, and she seized a paperback, at random, literally judging the book by its cover, then bent to pore over the road atlases on offer.

When she went to place one in the basket, she saw that Christina had swapped out the book she had picked, for another.

“It’s a good one,” Christina answered her questioning look.

“It’s historical fiction,” Steph argued.

“Trust me — it’s very diverting. I didn’t want to put it down. Besides, you barely glanced at the one you picked out.”

“If you say so. But, if I hate it, I’ll be calling you, to complain.”

“Fair enough. I do want you to call, when you get to wherever you’re going, or if you hit a snag, somewhere. Do you need aspirin, antacids; anything like that? I can get those, while you look at snacks,” Christina suggested.

“Yes, to both, and thanks. I might have forgotten those.”

By the time she was ready to checkout, Christina reappeared with the items she had gone in search of, plus a personal key-chain alarm, and a bottle of Pepto-Bismol.

“Traveler’s diarrhea is a thing, for some people,” she explained.

“It’s only a few hours, but, okay. I guess I should count myself lucky you didn’t get motion sickness pills, too.”

“I saw them. Do you need—“

“No!” Steph scowled, then laughed. “I ride with your lunatic brother driving, all the time,” she added.

***

Christina’s car was a silver minivan, with bumper stickers on it, from her kids’ schools. One boy was evidently a middle school soccer player. The other played Junior Varsity baseball.

“Yeah,” Christina said, seeing that Steph had noticed. “I’m that Mom.”

“Someone has to be,” Steph smiled. She climbed in, and settled herself, with her bags on the floorboard, between her feet, and fell to work, stowing her purchases.

“I think LaGrange has the nearest bus station, outside of Atlanta.”

“You know, it’s probably safe enough, for me to leave, from here. I wasn’t followed.”

“No, I have my marching orders. Guy insisted that I take you out of town. It’s only an hour or so away, and I don’t mind a little trip.”

“If you’re sure. Is your husband minding your kids?” Steph asked, just to make conversation.

“They’re minding themselves. They’re plenty old enough to be alone for a couple of hours. Barry works until eleven-thirty. We should descend on them, at just about the same time, I figure.”

“Must be hard, working different shifts.”

“Not in my case. I work from home, so I can tailor my hours to his.”

“You do that, and you drive kids hither and yon? I’m impressed.”

“It’s not so hard. They get on a bus, to go to and from school. I work a little in the morning, take them to activities, in the afternoon, then work some more, while they’re doing homework. The oldest likes to cook, so he handles dinner, a lot of times. The kids are a big help, in making it all go.”

“Are they the ones, who keep your van so clean?”

“They are. That’s the youngest one’s job, in particular. I’ll tell him you noticed — it’ll make his day.”

The van was very clean. There wasn’t a wrapper or crumb in sight — only a vent air freshener, and a rather dainty rosary, hanging from the rear view mirror. Steph was reminded of Guy’s medal, still on its chain, around her neck.

Steph pointed to it. “That reminds me — I have something that belongs to Guy. You might want to give it back to him.” She drew out the medal, and pulled it over her head. “It’s his St. Michael medal.”

“If he gave it to you, you should keep it.”

“I don’t think I need that kind of high caliber protection, anymore.”

“Put it back on. You can return it to him, yourself. The odds are, though, it was a gift, not a loan. He’s like that.”

“Impulsive? Don’t I know it.” Nevertheless, Steph replaced the necklace, and tucked it back into her shirt.

“Instinctive. Which, is what he says about you. Guy says your bullshit detector is as refined as his. Says you can practically read each other’s minds, when you’re in tight situations.”

“That’s a laugh. Most of the time, I don’t have a clue what he’s thinking.”

“If you say so.” Christina sounded unconvinced.

“I don’t know how much that matters, now that I’ve jumped ship, and left him on his own.”

“You did what was right, for your kid. For what it’s worth, Guy would have thought a little less of you, if you hadn’t. It complicates things for him, in the short run, but, in the long run, it’ll be better.”

“How much do you know about the situation, at the school?”

“No fine details. I know the nature of your work, and his, is sometimes dangerous, and that there’s something very bad going on there, at the school. That’s enough, isn’t it? Picking you up, and driving you to a bus station doesn’t put me in any danger,” she shrugged.

“I won’t need a phone, by the way. Hopefully, not much cash, either.”

“Not to worry — Guy routinely sends me the same amount of money from each paycheck, to hold for him. Calls it his ‘slush fund’. It’s for times like this, when he might need a considerable sum, but doesn’t want a noticeable amount coming out of his checking account. I bank it in a separate account, under my name. I’ll just give you the ATM card and the PIN.”

“That’s a lot of trust to place, in a stranger.”

“It’s Guy’s money. That’s what he wants me to do with it. He needs for you to vanish, for a while. Otherwise, he won’t be able to concentrate on what he’s doing. If you want him to be safer, you’ll do exactly that.”

“In other words, I don’t have to like it.”

“No one expects you to like it, if that helps. I don’t blame you. But, when he’s right, he’s right. Have you decided where you’re going to go?”

“Dothan, I think. At first, anyway — that’s where the bus goes. After that, I’m not sure. I mean, do I look for a job, or what?”

“If you’re supposed to be keeping your head down, for a while, you might not want to do that.”

“I have to do something. I can’t just sit on my hands, and live off Guy’s savings. I’ll need to pay him back, sooner or later.”

“You’re getting wound up. Don’t. You don’t have to figure out everything, tonight. You just have to get on a bus. That’s all.”

**************

Liam

Lisa’s call came in, as Liam was about halfway to the hospital.

“Are you driving?” she demanded, rather than returning his greeting.

“Hands-free, Lis— ever heard of it?” he returned, matching her tone.

“I thought that was for people who could walk and chew gum, at the same time.”

“Which is why you don’t have it, I know,” he agreed.

“That shows how little you know. Tuck made me trade in my car, last week. I think the blowout was the final straw. He said putting a new tire on it would be adding a new life preserver to the Titanic. I was a little bit offended.”

“I imagine you were,” he chuckled. What did you get?”

“A headache, from the paperwork, and a green Outback.”

“Jan just got a Forester. You two must be on the same wavelength,” Liam observed. “New?”

“The store’s doing well, but not that well. Used, but very nice. And, yes, it has blue-tooth, for the phone. Janice isn’t with you, then?”

“I’m on my way to pick her up, as a matter of fact.”

“Don’t tell me her car broke down!”

“No.” Liam sighed. He hadn’t really wanted to give Lisa bad news. “I’m picking her up, from the hospital.”

“What happened? And, why didn’t you tell me?” Her tone was sharp.

“She’s going to be fine, first of all. She had some unusual, heavy bleeding, but she’s okay. I didn’t tell you, because it happened only yesterday, and there was too much going on.”

“Sorry,” Lisa apologized. “I don’t care much for Janice, you know. But she’s family.”

“Oh, I know how much you don’t care for her,” he scoffed.

“Seriously, though—“

“Seriously, she’s going to be fine. You can talk to her, yourself, later. Meanwhile, what’s up?”

“Oh. Yeah. Toni found some of the information Janice was looking for, and she emailed it.”

“I know all about what she was looking for. She was asking, on my behalf, about Ted Billie.”

“Right. Okay, I’ll ask Toni to email it to you, too.”

“Thanks. Do you know if she found much?”

“I guess that depends on what you’re looking for. I think she went back, about five generations.”

“That’s probably more than enough. Would you tell her how much I appreciate it? I know she has plenty of her own stuff to do.”

“Thanks for trying to give me an opening, but Tucker confessed, Liam,” she chuckled. “He told you about the baby, already. Janice was right about men. You guys can’t keep good news to yourselves, can you?”

“Well… What can I say? If it means anything, Tuck brags on you, too. Says you’re a model grandma. Are you hoping for a granddaughter, this time?”

“Oh, please, yes!” she groaned. “That boy adds a new grey hair, every week. Yesterday, he pulled himself up onto his chubby little feet, for about three seconds. We’ll be chasing him, soon, in earnest. Even the dogs are learning to find him, when he crawls out of sight. All you have to say is: ‘where’s the baby’, and Nickie is off, like a dart.”

“Finally, she has something to herd.”

“I guess so. I suppose I should let you go, for now.”

“I’ll have Jan call you, once I get her home and settled, how’s that?”

“Please do, if she’s up for it.”

“She will be. When I saw her last night, she was sitting up, having dinner, and socializing with her roommate.”

“She’s like a rubber ball, isn’t she? Bouncy, but tough.”

“That’s Jan. Talk to you later, Lis.”

“Okay. Love you, Brother Liam.”

***

Janice

Liam was gentleness personified, as he helped Janice into the car, but he said little, as he steered out of the lot, and onto the road.

“It turned out to be a very bitter cup of coffee,” Janice said, at last.

“Is that what you think it was in? Your coffee?”

“I’m pretty sure it was. Bitter, like I said. It wouldn’t exactly have made sense, to put it in the eggs, would it?” she teased.

“I suppose not.” There was no humor in his reply.

“What’s eating you?” she asked, frowning.

“Someone tried to kill my wife. I’m pissed.”

“No. No one tried to kill me. Someone tried to scare you.”

“They succeeded. I’m done, and you are, too.”

“Really? You’re making career decisions for both of us, now?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” His face was set in stubborn lines.

This was uncharacteristic. He looked inflexible, and seemed determined to end all discussion.

“Fine. Have you found us another job, yet? Something that will cover our mortgage, and my car payments?” Janice challenged.

“I said we’re done, not that I’m walking away until I have something else lined up,” he replied, exasperated. “But you? You’re not going back.”

“Because, I’ll be so much safer, sitting around the house. Alone.”

“What do you want from me, Jan?”

“I want you to stop making edicts, and talk to me. You’re angry. Okay. So am I. But, I’m not angry with you.”

“I’m not mad at you, either. I’m furious with myself. I got us into this.”

“But, you didn’t. You accepted a job, and so did I. Two individuals, two offers, two jobs.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t the one who decided to go poking around into the history of the school.”

“Did I discourage you? I don’t recall it, if I did. I do remember advising you to be careful, and as far as I can tell, you have been. You photographed the cemetery, openly, but you weren’t alone, when you did that. What made this mysterious ‘someone’ so sure that it was your project, and not Ted’s?”

“I am the history teacher, after all.”

“True,” she allowed. “Still, you took photos, then went away. Beyond that, your research has all been off campus, and conducted on your own time. I’d say you were as discreet as you could be.”

“It doesn’t matter. That has to be the reason, and I’m the one who instigated it.”

“Stop blaming yourself, and let’s figure out what to do about it.”

“There are only two ways to go. I stop, and we stay at the school, and in that godforsaken neighborhood, or we leave both, and I continue researching.”

“No, there’s a third option. We stay, you continue, but you make it seem that you’ve given it up.”

“And, how do we do that, my love?” he smiled at her.

Janice began to relax. The question was skeptical, but at least he was open to possibilities, and had abandoned his imaginary throne.

“Well, first, you get a new computer,” she proposed.

“You think I’ve been hacked?”

“Seems logical, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. It does. But, hacking software can be removed,” he pointed out.

“You don’t want to do that, if you’re being monitored, and you want to give the impression that you’ve moved on. Misdirection, honey. You get a new computer, and give me the old one. I’ll research some crap for them. By the time I’m done, they’ll think you have the attention span of a fruit fly,” she smiled, reaching over to squeeze his right knee.

“We should find what they’re using, and how it got in, too, to keep the new machine clean.”

“Good point. I wonder what Toni charges, to examine a computer.”

“I kinda promised Lisa you’d give her a call, once we get you home, and settled.”

“Perfect. I’ll ask her, then.”

**************

Liam

“I really feel like this is an imposition,” Liam apologized, when he was seated at the kitchen table, with Toni. “I know you have things to do.”

“It’s fine. I have less to do, lately. I’ve decided I don’t do goats, when I’m knocked up,” Toni added with a laugh. “They stink. The milk stinks… I can stand the horses, oddly enough. So, Rob takes care of the goats, and I help feed the horses. I don’t know how we managed, without him.”

“What are you doing with the milk?”

“Freezing it.” She made a face that suggested that she didn’t even want to discuss goat’s milk. “Let’s see what we have,” she said, opening the laptop, and turning it on. “I’m just an amateur, but I might be able to spot something.”

“If it turns out to be something that’s too time consuming—“

“Found it.”

“You haven’t even touched it.”

“I believe it’s right here, on your desktop.” She tapped an icon, with her index finger.

“It’s an internal email app, for the school,” Liam frowned. “I never even use it. I use the one on my work laptop.”

“Uh-huh,” Toni nodded. “Let me guess— they have a rule that says you have to log on, at least once, to verify the installation.”

“They do,” he confirmed. “We downloaded it to all of our computers. Overkill, I guess.”

“Let me go in, and have a peek at it, just to be sure.”

It took about thirty minutes of probing in safe mode, for Toni to render a verdict.

“Yep. That’s your spy. I have some software that can get rid of it,” she offered.

“No, it has to stay. At least, I’ll know not to download it onto a new computer. That’s what I really wanted to find out.”

“Does Janice have a computer for home, and another for work, as well?”

“She does, but they’re with her, at home.”

“Take my disk with you. It’s not hard to run, but it’s time consuming. You can run it on one of hers, and save yourself some money, if you have to have a clean one.”

“You’re aces, Toni.”

“It’s no big deal,” she smiled. “Keep an eye on the munchkin, and I’ll get it, for you.” Toni got up, retrieved her son, who was slyly crawling toward the living room, and deposited him in Liam’s lap.

Liam found himself alone with a baby that he didn’t know what to do with, who was goggling at him with equal puzzlement.

“You don’t have much of a poker face, do you, little man?”

Willie-T giggled, and babbled something back, that could have been a comment on the weather, punctuated with a squeal, then seemed to wait for a reaction.

“Yes, it could rain. And then I’ll have to mow my grass again, before Dr. Starkey shows up to do it.” As he spoke, Liam made a fish with his right hand, swimming it closer to the baby, then made a playful, tickling grab at his tummy.

Willie giggled and squealed again, flailing his arms and kicking both legs.

Liam’s eyes widened, as he steadied the child before he could tumble off his knee.

“Careful, little man. If I drop you, your Mama will wear me out, with a switch.”

“He likes Uncle Liam,” Toni observed, from the doorway. She set the disk on top of the closed laptop, and relieved Liam of the baby, who protested, a little, but stopped, when he saw that she intended to hold him, for a while.

“We had a nice talk about the weather. Willie thinks it might rain.”

“He’s usually right. He has his father’s knack for weather forecasting.”

“Toni, thanks so much,” Liam said, rising. “I hate to bug you, and run, but—“

“You don’t want to leave Janice alone, too long. I get it. There are instructions, on the sleeve, but the disk will guide you step by step, anyway. It’s so goof proof, even Dad can use it, without supervision.”

Liam smiled. Tuck was notorious for his impatience with computers.

“By the way, I wanted to thank you for the genealogy research, too,” Liam said.

“I enjoyed it. If it helps, I’m glad.”

“Oh, it’s shed a lot of light on some things.”