Amateur Hour

Janice

Janice had just popped two antacids, when her phone rang, and she chewed them hastily, so that she answer it.

“Hi, Handsome,” she said, as well as she could, around her chewables. It was Tucker Rawlings.

“Hi, Darlin’. Did I catch you at breakfast?”

“No. Breakfast was three hours ago.” She paused to swallow. “They eat early, here. I seem to be snacking on antacids, this morning. What’s up?”

“Actually, nothing. A big, fat nothing. My former colleague, who’s been looking into that matter? Can’t find a thing. That’s not unusual, at all, is it?”

“Hmm… Nothing to see here,” Janice quipped.

“Exactly.”

“How much nothing are we talking about, Tucker?”

“We’re talking about things that were never brought to anyone’s attention.”

Janice leaned back in her chair, stunned. After a moment, she leaned forward again, and scrawled a note, with a black marker, on the top sheet of a writing tablet, and turned on her video call feature. In seconds, her request was accepted, and Tuck was visible, on her screen. Janice held up the pad, facing the phone camera. “How could that be?” she had written. “You can’t just hide that it, that a child is missing!”

Tuck nodded his understanding, and reached for something to write on. Aloud, he said, “Are you okay, Janice? You look a little flushed.”

“Just a bit of an upset stomach. The antacids help, short term, but they wear off, fast. How are Lisa and the kids?”

Tuck had written: “No reports have been filed, with the Duval County Sheriff’s Dept.”

“They’re great,” he replied, while she scribbled. “Lisa’s been working with Mr. Templeton. I think we’ve about decided to restore the old Lovejoy house, and open a little museum.”

“Incredible. Unrelated: Do you think Toni could/would do me a favor? Need a genealogist,” she replied, in writing.

“That’ll never pay for itself,” she forced a smile, even as her stomach began to roil again. “If you and Lisa are sitting on a pile of money, remember me, in your will.”

“I’m sure she would. Name? Age? Birthplace?” he’d jotted.

“Sorry, Janice, but it looks like you might be losing your place in line, to another heir. Toni and Will are expecting a second little one.”

Janice stopped writing, and stared at him, with a grin which was, this time, genuine. “They must be over the moon!”

“We’re all very happy. Toni pretends she’s annoyed, of course, and Will’s walking around, trying to look blase, but they aren’t fooling anyone.”

“Ted (Theodore? Edward?) Billie. Mid 50’s. Florida (?).”

Tuck read, nodded, copied the information, and nodded again that he had it.

“So, the real reason you called, was to crow about that,” she accused him.

“Guilty. Try to act surprised, when Lisa calls to brag about it, won’t you?”

“She’s really digging the whole ‘Mamaw thing’, isn’t she?”

“She is, and it’s a relief. I was worried that she’d be disconnected from it all, Toni being a stepdaughter, you know. It’s so much fun to watch them share Willie, back and forth, when he gets to be a handful. Honey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I should go, though. Give everyone a hug, for me.”

“I will. Come and see us again, soon.”

“We’ll do that. Bye, Tucker.”

****

Janice felt better after the diarrhea had passed, taking the incipient nausea with it; then the cramps and the bleeding started. Perimenopause was a bitch, she reflected, while she was getting a tampon from the dispenser. Her last period (short and light) had ended a week ago.

She didn’t want to do HRT, for a number of reasons, but she might have to consider it, if this was going to become a thing.

*******

Liam

When Liam found Janice, an hour later, she was slumped at the usual table in the teachers’ lounge, staring morosely into her teacup. She didn’t look well, but she perked up, a little, at the sight of him.

“Jan, are you—“ He broke off, when she held up a hand, and her smile faded.

“If one more person tells me how bad I look, he’s liable to get slapped.”

“I wasn’t going to. I was simply going to ask if you’re all right. You’re always beautiful.”

Janice sighed. “Sorry, Sugar. It’s been a morning. My breakfast made me sick, and I’m on my second tampon.”

“I’m sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?”

“Maybe. Did you happen to smuggle any pain relievers in today? Anything will do.”

“I didn’t think to, this morning.” He felt terrible about this. He usually did bring in a few tablets, in his pocket. “I’ll check my desk, and see if I have a couple of strays.”

“Not now,” Janice hissed, when he started to rise. “I’d rather have your company,” she altered her tone. “You can drop them off, if you have them, later.”

“Things have come to a pretty pass, when you’re not even allowed to bring aspirin into your workplace.”

Janice nodded. “I’ve already had to go to the dispensary, for antacids, today. I don’t want to draw attention. Don’t worry, Sweetie, it’s not the first time I’ve had cramps. Forget it. Tucker called, this morning,” she changed the subject.

“Did he have any news?”

“His news was that there was no news. We’ll talk about that, later. There was family news, though. We’re going to have another niece or nephew.”

“Damn… Once Toni and Will get started, they don’t fool around, do they?”

“I guess not! I expect to hear from Lisa, any minute, now, with the same news. If you talk to her before I do, act surprised, okay?”

“Gotcha,” Liam smiled. “We can’t have Tuck stealing her thunder, can we?”

“That would be a sin. In other news, they’ve decided to restore the old house, for a museum.”

“That won’t pay for itself,” Liam observed, unknowingly repeating Janice’s remark to Tuck.

“I doubt that’s really the point.”

“Of course, it isn’t,” he agreed. “I can’t disapprove, even if I wanted to. The place belongs on a historical registry.”

“I think so, too. Lastly, I passed on your request, to Toni.”

“Thanks, Jan. I know you didn’t want to.”

“I just don’t see the need. It seems like you’re suspicious of everyone, since you started…”

“Maybe I am, a little,” Liam admitted. “The sooner I find out what I want to know, the sooner I can drop it.”

“There are other people who could be investigated. More deserving people.”

“What makes you think I’m not looking into them?” he grinned wickedly, but his joke fell flat. Jan didn’t even smile. She really must be feeling bad, he thought. He’d never seen her so pallid. “Honey, do you need to go home?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “But you drove us, both.”

“I don’t care. Let’s just go. You wait here, and I’ll get our things. Give me your office key.”

Her hand shook a bit, when she held it out to him.

***

On his way back, Liam’s heart sank, to see Ted hurrying down the hallway, in his direction. He quickened his own pace, ignoring the awkwardness of the two satchels he was now carrying.

“She collapsed on the way to the ladies’ room,” Ted informed him, without preamble. “They took her to the infirmary, and called an ambulance. She’s conscious, Liam, but she’s bleeding heavily,” Ted continued, falling in with Liam’s increased pace.

“Where’s the ambulance coming from?”

“Marianna,” the other man replied, with a hint of apology.

“Goddammit!”

“Yeah. It’s a long way.”

“Hope no one tries to pull me over.”

“What? You can’t mean to take her, yourself!”

“Watch me.”

“Liam—“ Ted put a hand on Liam’s arm, and was shaken off.

“Try to stop me, and I’ll flatten you,” Liam snarled.

“All right. If she can’t walk, I’ll carry her, and put her in the back seat, with you. I know where the hospital is, so I’ll drive. God knows, you’re not in any shape, to do it.”

“No. I’ll get her.” Liam paused, long enough to thrust the satchels at Ted, and fish out his car key. “You bring the car around.”

Along with the key, he gave Ted a look that dared him to argue. They were nearly of a height, Liam being the taller of the two, but Ted was more muscular. It would make more sense, for Ted to be the one to carry Jan, if she needed it, but Liam just couldn’t allow it.

“I’ll meet you out front,” Ted nodded, trotting off toward main security, and the exit to the parking lot.

***

Jan was curled into a ball, on one of the cots in the infirmary. The large dark spot on her Navy blue skirt could have been anything, but a smear on the sheet showed that it was indeed blood. Her face was clammy, drawn, and pale, but her relief at the sight of him, went straight to Liam’s heart.

“Hey, Honey,” he greeted her in a tender voice. “I said I’d take you home — there’s no need for theatrics.”

Janice started to laugh, then grimaced and fought back a moan.

He knelt by the cot, and took her hand. It was icy.

“Are you cold, baby?” he asked.

“A little.”

“Get her a blanket,” he snapped, over his shoulder, to no one, in particular. As if by magic, a male nurse appeared, and spread one over her.

“Thank you,” Janice managed.

“What have you given her, for pain?” he demanded of the nurse. “They’ll need to know, at the hospital.”

“She’s refused pain meds, Mr. Miles,” the nurse replied, with more than a hint of disapproval. “We can’t force them, on her.”

“You could have stopped at the first sentence. Jan, the nearest hospital is in Marianna. Ted’s ready to drive us, if you don’t want to wait for the ambulance.”

“Let’s go,” Janice said, through gritted teeth.

“No, sir. You are not —” the beefy man began.

“But, I am. Let’s get you sitting up, Honey. I can carry you.”

“Get Dr. La Face, and call Dr. Starkey,” the nurse instructed someone.

“Liam —” A look of panic crossed Jan’s face.

“They can’t make us stay, if we want to go,” he soothed. “We’re not students. Hold on to that blanket, now,” he advised her, tucking it around her as best he could.

Janice bit back a cry, as he lifted her, but had the presence of mind to gather as much of the blanket to her as she could, once she was in his arms, so that he wouldn’t trip on it.

Liam wasted no time, hustling her out of the infirmary, and down the corridor. He heard Starkey and someone else calling, but he never slowed his pace, or glanced back. Ted was waiting for them, in the secured entry area, legs slightly apart, arms crossed, his glare roaming the from one cowed guard to the next.

Behind him, Liam saw The Hulk standing at the ready, with both back doors and the driver’s door open. Ted flung the exit door open, and held it for Liam and his wife.

Janice was able, just, to help Liam get her into the car, and to stay upright, until he was in, himself. He helped her to lie down, with her head in his lap, and had the blanket over her, by the time Ted started the engine.

They were about two thirds of the way to the hospital, when they passed the ambulance, coming in the opposite direction. Ted maintained his speed, and didn’t pull over. The ambulance hadn’t had its lights on, yet.

“How you doing, back there, Janice?”

“She’s hurting, but conscious,” Liam answered for her.

“Not much farther, now. Just a few minutes.”

Traffic was light, but it still seemed to Liam that it took forever, to get to the hospital emergency entrance. Jan’s eyes were closed, but she was still speaking lucidly, when they rolled her into the treatment area.

An hour passed, before the attending physician entered the emergency waiting room, with news. Ted had gone to the men’s room, to offload some of the coffee they had been drinking, in near silence.

“Janice is going to be fine, Mr. Miles,” were the first words out of his mouth, once he had identified Liam from the among the three other men in the waiting area. “The bleeding is under control, and she’s been given pain medication.”

Liam felt himself reeling, with relief and gratitude. “May I see her?”

“Of course. She’s a bit drowsy, from the meds, and might fall asleep on you,” he warned, with a smile. “I’ll take you back.”

“Thank you. Oh, I nearly forgot Ted. He drove us here.”

“Coral,” the doctor addressed the older lady, manning the intake desk, “You’ll tell Mr. Miles’ friend where he went, won’t you?”

“I sure will,” she assured them.

“Any idea why this happened, Doctor?” Liam asked, as the stepped out of the waiting room, into the treatment area.

“It happens, sometimes, with misoprostol,” the doctor shrugged. “Any remaining products of conception, must have been expelled prior to her arrival, so she shouldn’t be in any danger of infection, from that. We did a pelvic exam, of course.”

Liam halted, in his tracks.

“Wait. What?” he demanded.

“I… assumed that this was a case of self-managed abortion gone awry.” The doctor looked uncomfortable. At your wife’s age, pregnancy would be a high risk proposition. Termination would certainly make sense. Traces of the medication are in her system, Mr. Miles,” he added gently. “I’m sorry — I thought you would know. I wouldn’t have mentioned it, but, your wife did sign a form with her primary care provider, authorizing you to be informed of any details of treatments.”

“We both did, when we got check ups,” Liam heard himself saying, while his mind was trying to absorb this particular detail. “It’s fine, Dr…” he paused, reading the physician’s badge, “…Kinney. I’m just a little taken aback, is all.” He was very taken aback. Liam had undergone a vasectomy, five years ago. “Please, take me to her.”

Kinney scanned his face, and evidently decided he wasn’t about to create any drama, because he resumed his escort. “She’s just back here, in recovery. I’d like for her to remain, here, overnight, for observation. We should be able to move her to a room, soon.”

“That’s fine,” Liam nodded. “May I stay, until she can be moved?”

“I don’t see why not, as long as she’s quiet and resting. You can also come back, later this evening. We don’t have restricted visiting hours, as such.”

The doctor led him to a curtained bay, with a bed, a chair, and a rolling tray table, before taking his leave.

Jan looked small and pale, lying on the bed, with a blood pressure cuff on one arm, a pulse monitor on her left index finger, and an IV line snaking its way up to a bag of clear fluid. She appeared to be asleep, so Liam moved the chair as quietly as he could, to sit next to her, and take her hand.

She was warmer, now, though her color hadn’t improved much. Her fingers tightened a little, to grasp his hand and she stirred, opening drowsy eyes.

“My hero,” she smiled. “How did you manage not to drop me?” Her speech was a little slurry, but not alarmingly so.

“You’re not heavy,” he shrugged, smiling back. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“I was only sleeping, because there’s nothing else to do. Couldn’t find Lifestyles of the Poor and Obscure, on TV.”

“That’s not on, for another hour, I think,” Liam joked. “You should be sleeping. Are you comfortable, Honey?”

“I’m stoned. Of course, I’m comfortable. Can’t wait to get home, though.”

“I’m afraid you’ll be spending the night, here. They want to keep an eye on you.”

“No… I hate hospital beds,” she protested, then promptly fell asleep.

Liam chuckled a little, shaking his head.

Janice was still out, cold, when they came to collect her, bed and all, to move her to her room.

Ted’s expression was concerned and hopeful, when Liam met up with him again, in the waiting room.

“How is she?” he asked.

“She’s going to be okay,” Liam replied. “I should be able to take her home, tomorrow.”

“That’s great news.”

“Sorry it took me so long.”

“Believe me, if it were Nina, I’d stay with her, until they kicked me out, too.”

“You called her, I hope.”

“I did. Do you mind if I update her, on the way to the car? She was very worried.”

“Not at all.”

Ted dialed Nina’s phone, and began to converse with her, in Miccosukee, as they headed toward the car. Liam had no clue what they were saying, but Nina’s tones of relief were clear enough, during the brief exchange.

“Nina sends her love,” Ted said, when the call ended, and they were climbing into the Suburban. “She said not to rush, getting home, and wants to know if you’d like to have an early dinner with us. I told her you would.”

Liam glanced at him, with a hint of annoyance.

“You’ve got to eat, man,” Ted pointed out. “I know you’re tired. No one expects you to have company manners, and we both missed lunch.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

“I’m always right,” Ted smiled.

“I don’t know how to thank you, for your help, today,” Liam began. “But, thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome. For what it’s worth, I think you were probably right, not to wait for the ambulance. I hadn’t seen Janice, until you carried her out. She was in worse shape than I imagined. You’ll want to take a right, at this light, and keep going. The road we came in on, is left, at the light, just after the four-way stop.”

“Okay. Thanks. I hope you don’t get in trouble for ditching, today.”

“I don’t think I will, though the guards might complain. I told them I’d deck the first one who tried to stop you, male or female.”

“Would you have?”

“I talk a good game, and have a resting stern face. I figured that would be enough. I wouldn’t have hit a woman, but any of those men would have gotten a fat lip. Thing is, there are cameras everywhere. They’ll show a woman in crisis, being rushed out to a waiting car. Did the Doc have any idea what caused it?”

“He said it happens, sometimes,” Liam edited the doctor’s words. “Something to do with Jan’s age.”

“Ah. Some days, it’s good to be a man, I suppose.”